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Our Sporking Magnum Opus [PART ONE]
Jun. 16th, 2015 03:28 pmTitle: The Nobody Virus
Author: hajikurazaki19 and DeadShut
Rating:
One for the terrible-and-we-mean-Terrible writing, one for the horribly boring characters, one for the sexism (OMIGAWD THE SEXISM), one for the needless and graphic violence, and one just to let you know that this entire fic is devoid of any entertainment value whatsoever. You have been warned.
Full Name (including any titles): Ryan “Roxas” Hall, Sora O’Reily. (There's a million more, but they're not worth remembering.)
Full Species(es): Scum of the earth.
Hair Color (include adjectives): The quick summary for this part is to say that sometimes hair is same as canon, sometimes it’s something entirely different. There is never any good reason for either.
Eye Color (include adjectives): The most memorable colour is green. Why is it memorable? You’ll see.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: *shrugs*
Special Possessions (if any): Sora has a fancy stick masquerading as the Keyblade in one pocket and seemingly an Idiot Ball in the other, because incompetence like his has to be in tangible form. The story itself also has a weird love/hate relationship with Italy.
Origin: Frank Miller’s Guide to Fanfiction (with a foreword by Alan Moore)
Connections To Canon Characters: Stole their names. And then killed them to hide the evidence.
Special Abilities: Hallucinating others into believing anyone's had character development or changed in any way whatsoever.
Other Annoying Traits: Let’s save you some time and compress the answer down to “Everything not mentioned above.”
I Say/Notes: And here it finally is, one of the first fics we ever lined up when starting this blog. Definitely one of the dreariest and narcissistic stories we've had the displeasure of reading and most definitely what put the 'lecture' in 'Lecture Room'. Imagine, if you will, if someone took all the convoluted storylines, unanswered plot threads, and retcons of the KH games, shoved it through a syphon that sucked out all the charm and endearing characters, and sprinkled a shallow examination of world problems on top. That's this fic and it's as much as a mess as you'd expect.
Generalized warning: this fic contains descriptions of violence and blood, gendered and homophobic slurs, as well as plenty of misogynist content we'll specifically warn for in the future parts (before we started cutting out those scenes entirely because we literally had nothing to say to them anymore).
( The worst muse suggests: If you make the kid the Chosen Hero, you can totally bypass any other character development! )
Author: hajikurazaki19 and DeadShut
Rating:
One for the terrible-and-we-mean-Terrible writing, one for the horribly boring characters, one for the sexism (OMIGAWD THE SEXISM), one for the needless and graphic violence, and one just to let you know that this entire fic is devoid of any entertainment value whatsoever. You have been warned.Full Name (including any titles): Ryan “Roxas” Hall, Sora O’Reily. (There's a million more, but they're not worth remembering.)
Full Species(es): Scum of the earth.
Hair Color (include adjectives): The quick summary for this part is to say that sometimes hair is same as canon, sometimes it’s something entirely different. There is never any good reason for either.
Eye Color (include adjectives): The most memorable colour is green. Why is it memorable? You’ll see.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: *shrugs*
Special Possessions (if any): Sora has a fancy stick masquerading as the Keyblade in one pocket and seemingly an Idiot Ball in the other, because incompetence like his has to be in tangible form. The story itself also has a weird love/hate relationship with Italy.
Origin: Frank Miller’s Guide to Fanfiction (with a foreword by Alan Moore)
Connections To Canon Characters: Stole their names. And then killed them to hide the evidence.
Special Abilities: Hallucinating others into believing anyone's had character development or changed in any way whatsoever.
Other Annoying Traits: Let’s save you some time and compress the answer down to “Everything not mentioned above.”
I Say/Notes: And here it finally is, one of the first fics we ever lined up when starting this blog. Definitely one of the dreariest and narcissistic stories we've had the displeasure of reading and most definitely what put the 'lecture' in 'Lecture Room'. Imagine, if you will, if someone took all the convoluted storylines, unanswered plot threads, and retcons of the KH games, shoved it through a syphon that sucked out all the charm and endearing characters, and sprinkled a shallow examination of world problems on top. That's this fic and it's as much as a mess as you'd expect.
Generalized warning: this fic contains descriptions of violence and blood, gendered and homophobic slurs, as well as plenty of misogynist content we'll specifically warn for in the future parts (before we started cutting out those scenes entirely because we literally had nothing to say to them anymore).
( The worst muse suggests: If you make the kid the Chosen Hero, you can totally bypass any other character development! )
