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Title: Meeting the Princess
Author: Michigo Sinister
Rating: A lot to be desired in the writing, but overall it’s fine.
Full Name (including any titles): Princess Yakumo.
Full Species(es): Reincarnated goddess, I guess?
Hair Color (include adjectives): Long red hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Brown.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Usually none, but can activate fairy wings mode.
Special Possessions (if any): Magical animal sidekick that does indeed become a possession at one point.

Origin: Lots of all-nighters spent marathoning favourite anime series.
Connections To Canon Characters: Becomes friends. We’re okay with that.
Special Abilities: Fire, flying, healing.
Other Annoying Traits: Learning new abilities instantaneously.

I Say/Notes: Sorry for the long wait. This has been the year of us getting sick, apparently. We'll make up for the downtime with another spork coming soon. (Happy Thanksgiving to any fellow Canadians.)

Part one is here and part two is here.

Aloha Stitch

Part 1

Voiceover: Our heroes are on their way to a familiar looking new world.

On the World:

They looked around to see a beach and the ocean. There were a lot of people out in about on the beach.

Riku: A few of them had fainted at the sight of fantasy characters suddenly appearing out of nowhere.
Kairi: Maybe that’s why the game environments are always so empty. It’s not data limitation, its health concerns!

"This place does seem peaceful." Yakumo said.

Sora started to think again then he got it snapping his fingers.

"Now I remember this is where one of my summons lives. He's name is—" Sora started.

Kairi: Wouldn’t it be nicer to refer to Stitch as your “friend” and not an object?

He cut off by a blue blur ramming into Sora.

Sora: Blue streak… speeds by...

Sora fell back but smiled slightly at the blue thing on his chest.

Riku: (as Sora) Megaman! It’s been forever since I last saw you!

Sora tried to sit up but the blue thing started to lick his face.

"Ok Ok! It's good to see you too." Sora laughed as it licked his face.

His friends looked at each other than back at Sora.

"Uhh Sora…Should we be worried?" Yakumo asked.

Kairi: (as Yakumo) I really like Lilo and Stitch and my behavior in Radiant Garden is getting me worried.

"Ok you need to get off me." Sora said and the thing back off.

But not before giving Sora one last lick and Sora sighed. Sora sat up trying to wipe the green spit off his face and the thing saw Sora's friends. It started to growl at them and they got ready.

Demyx: Got ready to do what? Ready to fight, ready to be licked to death, ready to make a sandwich?

"Whoa Hold it everyone." Sora said quickly.

Sora stood up and explained, "This is Stitch. He's the summon I told you about. He's very strong, very brave, and very loyal.

Sora: Halfway through the movie, anyways.

Stitch those are my friends Riku, Kairi, and Yakumo. They're my close friends which I trust with my life."

"Well hello Stitch." Riku said.

"Aloha!" Stitch said.

"Aloha?" Yakumo asked.

Demyx: (as Yakumo) The huge box-office and critical flop that also tried to pass off pasty white Emma Stone as half-Hawaiian?

"It means hello here." Sora said.

Riku: And goodbye, but a lot of people forget that.
Kairi: I know most of us are taught that “aloha” is a greeting, which it still is, but there’s more to it than that. It’s a sign of affection and sincerity, as well as a way of life. That one word is such a deep part of Hawaiian culture that to treat it as a simple ‘hello’ is almost demeaning.

"Stitch! Stitch where are you?" called a girl's voice.

They looked to see a young girl about the age of seven come into view.

Stitch smiled and went over to her, "Aloha Lilo."

Demyx: Let’s head off to a luau, buy some Tiki souvenirs, throw up the shaka, and eat some SPAM!

Voiceover: Lilo invites the group to her home.

When they got there, they were met by another girl but she was older than Lilo. She said her name was Nani and then they met two aliens named Jumba and Pleakley. They told them who they were and then they asked some questions. One of the questions was if Nani was Lilo's mother. Nani said no that she was Lilo's sister and that their parents had died.

Sora: Yeesh! That was quick into the conversation.
Riku: Even the movie needed about an hour to feel comfortable setting out that information.

When it was time to go to bed, Nani allowed them to stay there and they thanked her.

Sora: We don't have to spend another night sleeping in the Gummi Ship! Thank you, Nani, thank you!

The next morning, Nani told Lilo she was going to be late and went back to the Kitchen to do the dishes.

Kairi: A few questions here. One: why is kitchen suddenly a proper noun? And two: what's Nani going to be late for?
Riku: Those answers are too grand for our minds to comprehend. We must never know.

"Ok guys I think one of us should stick around Lilo and Stitch to make sure no Heartless attack them." Sora explained.

Demyx: If Heartless attack anyone else *shrugs* eh, screw ‘em.

They agreed and Sora said, "I'll go with them today."

Kairi: Who performed the magic ritual that allows the game protagonist to actually be involved in a fic? This almost NEVER happens in these kinds of stories!

"Hurry up you two!" Nani shouted before saying to Jumba and Pleakley, "Hey can you guys help me? It's family night and I want the house clean."

"Oh not me." Jumba said before putting his cup on top of the pile of dishes Nani had before standing up, "I have very important project I've been working on."

Nani set the dishes in the sink and gasped, "No more crop circles!"

Jumba groaned and said as he walked away, "All the other aliens get to make them."

Riku: Jumba has fallen on hard times. From lead scientist of Galaxy Defense Industries to petty crop circles.

"What about you?" Nani asked Pleakley.

"Can't help you Nani. I have a very full day of Human Research ahead of me."

"You mean watching talk shows and reading gossip magazines?" Nani questioned.

"Yeah it takes it out of you." Pleakley answered.

Demyx: …What kind of magazines is he reading, again?
Riku: (as Pleakley) I read them for the articles, I swear!

Lilo and Stitch finally came in and Lilo asked, "Can we take the hovercraft today? Please."

"You know I think it's too dangerous. Beside someone may see you."Nani said.

"Pleasssseeee!" Lilo and Stitch begged.

Nani nodded, "Alright you can take it if you can find it."

Kairi: Wow, just one drawn out syllable, and Nani folds. She’s lost her touch between movies.

Lilo, Stitch, and Sora left the house and Nani smiled.

"I hid it so good this time they'll never—"Nani started.

But was cut off when she heard Lilo and Stitch yell, "Thanks Nani!"

Nani looked to see Lilo and Stitch riding in the hovercraft and Sora sitting on the back of it.

Sora: (as self) Nan, how do you stop this crazy thing?!

As they took off Nani groaned, "I got to find a better hiding place for that thing."

Riku: (as Nani) And I was so sure they’d be thrown off by the big sign saying “Hovercraft is definitely not behind here, look somewhere else”.

The hovercraft went at a good speed and everyone joined the ride.

Demyx: Sora only fell off and nearly broke his neck two times.

When they got close to the Hula class location, they parked the hovercraft nearby and ran the rest of the way. They got into the class and the teacher said he had an announcement.

"In three days is our towns Mayday celebration

Kairi: May Day is Lei Day in Hawai’i.

and here's the best part. There will be a hula competition. Each of you will create an original Hula and the one that best expresses the Aloha spirit well led our hula as the winning dance."

Stitch and Sora smiled saying to Lilo, "You. You. You."

Demyx: (as both) Win win win! Pressure pressure pressure!
Sora: I’m being friendly and supportive, shush!

Voiceover: The teacher gives Lilo a picture showing her mother as one of the past competition winners.

Lilo smiled and then the girl name Myrtle said, "Hey Lilo maybe your dog can take a picture of me when I win the competition."

"How do you know you're going to win?" Sora asked.

"I think it's pretty well known that I'm the best dancer in the seven year old division." Myrtle said.

Demyx: C’mon, say something about the dead mom. You know you wanna.

"I don't know. I think maybe I can win." Lilo said.


Sora: Hi!

you're a stinky dancer and anything you come up with is going to be stinky." Myrtle said.

Lilo growled and tried to get to Myrtle but was stopped by Sora and Stitch.

"Your never be like your mom." Myrtle said.

The three of them gasped as Myrtle said, "Never."

Demyx: *tents fingers menacingly* Good, young Myrtle, gooooooood. Once your petty evil powers grow you will become a powerful ally for our dark forces.

Lilo glared Sora and Stitch as Sora said, "I'm going to get in trouble for this."


Sora and Stitch released Lilo who said, "That's it."

Riku: Yes, Sora, instead of letting Lilo calm down and get her emotions under control, teach her it's okay to lash out violently against someone. Good job.
Sora: I’m the best role model there ever was.

Stitch pulled out a camera and said, "Smile."

As Stitch snapped pictures, Lilo fought with Myrtle.

Riku: Stich’s career as a snuff director had a humble start.

They fought until the teacher broke them up. Soon they were standing in front of Nani's house as the teacher told her what had happened.

"As you can see there was a little disagreement…again." The teacher said.

Nani sighed and looked at Lilo.

Lilo whispered to Stitch, "Next time flush the evidence."

"Flush." Stitch restated.

Kairi: Or, in a more logical turn, you could not create your own incriminating evidence in the first place.

As this was happening Yakumo noticed that the living room was still a mess.

Demyx: (as Yakumo) I’ve been gone a whole scene, I need to do something ridiculous to reassert my Sueness!

Thinking quickly she used a speed boost to get it clean in record time.

Sora: Wait a sec, she’s not a Mary Sue. She’s Mary Poppins!
Kairi: That spoonful of sugar sure helped the medicine go down.

As Nani asked the teacher to come in, she was surprised to see the living clean and Yakumo holding a broom.

"Oh hey Nani. I saw how busy you were so I thought I'd help you clean." Yakumo said with a smile.

"Well thank you Yakumo." Nani said with a small sigh.

Kairi: (as Nani) But why couldn’t you have done that earlier? You spent most of today “helping” Pleakley read magazines instead of tidying.
Riku: (as Yakumo) Look, a never-ending supply of superpowers isn’t fun unless you use them at the last second.

Yakumo smiled again and said, "And this must be Lilo's teacher. I'm Yakumo."

"Aloha Yakumo." The teacher said.

Riku: Your characters could greet each other with “howzit”, a phrase that was also in the movie. Or a simple “hello” is fine.
Kairi: Our main point here is that Hawaii is, yknow, a real place and not some fictional locale.

"You guys talk; me and my friends have to take care of some things." Yakumo said before roughly grabbing Sora's arm.

Demyx: (as Sora) Um, ow much!

Yakumo pulled him into the Kitchen where Kairi waited.

Sora looked confused and asked, "Where's Riku?"

"Making sure Jumba and Pleakley don't get out and embarrass Lilo." Kairi explained.

Riku came back into the Kitchen, "Ok we should be good until the teacher leaves.

Riku: (as self) It should take those two at least an hour to unbury themselves.

Now Sora care to explain why you let Lilo fight Myrtle?"

Kairi: (as Sora) Because who wouldn’t want to see a little girl be beaten up and then try to justify violence as the answer? That’s always fun for everyone!

"I wasn't going at first but then Myrtle insulted Lilo about not being like her mother." Sora explained.

They looked surprised and Yakumo commented, "That's button she shouldn't have pressed."

Sora: Sometimes you need to fail the QTEs, Myrtle, it makes life easier.

They listened as the teacher told Lilo not to get into anymore trouble or she would be out of the competition. Lilo continued to promise that she would be good and she wanted to be in the competition.

"Don't worry. I've seen the error of my ways. I'll be good from now on and be the best Hula dancer ever. You'll see. I can do it!" Lilo said.

Then Lilo said, "There's no way I can do this."

Riku: Gilligan Cuts don’t translate well to writing. Good try nonetheless.

Voiceover: Lilo is upset about the competition for two scenes in a row despite her friends continuously reinstating their faith in her. There is some attempt at humour at a family movie night until the following happens.

Suddenly Stitch's eyes glowed green and he shook a little so he looked at himself but he didn't see anything wrong.

Riku: Must have drank too much Ecto-cooler.

Stitch's eyes glowed again and then one of his extra arms grew. Stitch looked confused as he pulled it back in. Suddenly everything grew and he was thrown against the wall.

Sora went over to him and asked, "Stitch are you ok?"

Sora: Obviously not! An invisible force threw him against the wall.
Kairi: Nani, did your house always have a poltergeist?

Stitch nodded but then everything started to mess up. His eyes glowed green and he went crazy attacking the table. Food flew everywhere as Stitch jumped off. Sora held him down but Stitch was still acting up. Sora released Stitch as he calmed down. Jumba looked back at Stitch to see what was wrong.

When he saw Stitch's eyes glow green he gasped quietly, "Oh No."

Demyx: (as Jumba) I know exactly who I am and who I want to be, I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine.

Stitch gasped and ran upstairs.

"Stitch wait." Sora said.

Sora: (as Willy Wonka) Wait stop come back.

Then Sora noticed Jumba walking out of the house and wondered what he was up to. Sora decided to leave it for now and went up to check on Stitch.

Demyx: Yeah, why bother questioning the guy that made Stitch about what’s going on? That might get something done.

Voiceover: Stitch shows his symbolic picture of his erased goodness level before hiding under the bed.

So Lilo went over followed by Sora and looked under the bed. There was Stitch looking upset so Lilo crawled under the bed. Sora didn't because he knew he would never fit under there.

Kairi: Been eating too much ice cream lately.

Then Lilo said, "Once there was a boy with big puffy hair who loved meatloaf a lot. So he put the leftovers in his pillowcase. But that night a buzzard flew into the window and tried to eat the meatloaf. Trashed the whole house and do you know who that boy was?"

Sora watched as Stitch shook his head and Lilo stated, "Elvis."

"Really?" Sora asked surprised.

"True story." Lilo stated.

Everyone: …
Sora: …Is it?
Voiceover: *beep boop blip* No confirmation of this story can be found. Either it is a myth or simply an anecdote Lilo made to cheer her friend up.

"I think Stitch feels better." Stitch said.

"Even Elvis slipped up sometimes but he never stopped trying. And neither can we." Lilo said.

Demyx: He also consumed more calories than an elephant, doesn't mean you should too.

"Yeah you guys will think of something for the Hula. Don't worry." Sora said.

Riku: Forget your biological bedlam, Stitch, we’ve got a dance contest to win!

Then they gasped and said, "Elvis."

Kairi: Referencing the licensed music that is clearly a big inspiration for Lilo? GASP! How could we forgotten it for this long?!

Part 2

The next morning Lilo and Stitch were going to go out and try to find their idea.

Riku: Hopefully it's as easy to track down as the hovercraft.

Sora couldn't go with them because he needed to talk to Jumba about Stitch so his friends drew straws to see who would go.

"How did I end up with the short straw?" Riku asked walking behind Lilo and Stitch.

Demyx: Because fans don’t like you.
Kairi: And apparently Riku doesn’t like children because why else is he treating being with Lilo as a punishment?
Sora: Lilo's the coolest little girl there ever was, who WOULDN'T want to hang out with her?

Lilo said, "Thanks my sister we'll have to walk."

Riku: You're right, Lilo, we should thank Nani for encouraging us to get some healthy exercise for the day.

The first place they went to was the laundry mat.

Kairi: The next two stops were at the laundry rug and laundry welcome plate.

They went inside and Lilo and Stitch danced around to come up with an idea. Stitch started to jump on a pile of towels when his eyes started to glow green again.

Sora: He's been infected by Septiceye Sam!

Stitch went over and pulled out a woman's curlers. The woman chased him away with a broom causing Lilo to sigh and go get him. Stitch erased move of the color out of the picture and showed it to Lilo.

Next was the Barber shop and once again Stitch acted up again causing him to erase move of the picture.

Riku: He again showed the picture to Lilo but she continued to not help him.

Next was a coffee shop and Riku decided to wait outside. He heard a crush and sighed.

"9 out of 10 says that was Stitch."

Seconds later Lilo came running out with Stitch causing Riku to sigh, "Called it."

Demyx: The bill for property damages will be arriving any day now.

The last place they went was near a cliff and it had a bench sitting on it. They went up to it and Lilo smiled.

"This is the exact bench where Elvis sat in blue Hawaii." Lilo said placing a hand on the bench.

Stitch took a sniff and said, "Oh yeah that's him."

Kairi: …Wait. So Stitch can not only identify people by smell alone, but he knows what Elvis Presley— Elvis Aaron died in 1977 Presley— smells like and can recognize that smell on a bench used in a 1961 film? I… I have so many questions I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know the answers to.
Demyx: (as Stitch) I did grave robbing before going into snuff films!

Lilo and Stitch eased themselves on the bench and Lilo said, "I can't believe it. My butt is in the shadow of the butt of Elvis Presley."

Riku sat down in front of the bench smiling slightly.

Sora: Now he also has an Elvis shadow butt!

"Ok Elvis we're ready to receive a great idea for our Hula." Lilo called out.

Lilo and Stitch closed their eyes waiting for the ideas to come. A few minutes passed and then a chicken came in. Riku watched the chicken walked pass them confused.

"What's with the chicken?" Riku asked.

Kairi: It wants you to dress up in a chicken suit for a cheap and nonsensical running joke. Of course!

Lilo and Stitch looked as the chicken started to peck the ground.

"I got it. Elvis is trying to tell us to do a Hula about a chicken." Lilo explained.

"I don't think so Lilo." Riku said shaking his head.

Sora: (as Lilo) Don’t question me, non-believer, unless you want to go over that cliff!

Voiceover: No, it turns out the chicken was sent to them so it could steal their map, lead them into a chase towards the road, where the map will be dropped right where a truck can run over it, tearing it to pieces. Of course.

Lilo groaned and said, "We're sunk."

"Come you two let's get out of the rain." Riku said.

Lilo and Riku went over the gas station nearby. Stitch threw a fit in the middle of the road causing Riku to walk back over and pick him up. Riku set him down near Lilo and went to dry off.

Lilo grabbed a towel, dried Stitch's fur, and said, "I know it's hard to keep the faith sometimes but if you don't give up on Elvis, Elvis won't give up on you."

Sora: Is anyone else finding this section of the story a little...
Riku: ...repetitive? Yeah.
Kairi: So far it’s just been Lilo being sad over small problems, not making a hula dance, ignoring Stitch, and a whole lot of nothing going on.
Demyx: I’m about to say a sentence I never thought I’d ever live to say but... I wish the Mary Sue was here to magically solve all the problems.

Stitch agreed and then they heard music nearby. They looked to see two people sitting nearby playing a song.

Lilo went over to them and asked, "That song it's about the Hawaiian Goddess Hi'iaka?"

"Hey that's right Lilo." One of them said.

Riku and Stitch joined her as she said, "That's a great story. Love, Jealously, death by molten lava. Do you know what this means?"

Sora: (as Lilo) We need to douse ourselves in melting rocks to win the hula contest!

Her and Stitch ran out and shouted, "Thank you Elvis."

Riku: (as two song people) What are we, unnamed contrivances that don’t even get credit for continuing the story? Oh wait, yes we are.

They were happy they finally had their Hula.

Demyx: And we’re happy something finally happened.

Voiceover: Sora finally talks to Jumba about what’s happening to Stitch. Turns out his molecular structure is breaking down so they will need to build a fusion chamber to fix him. They don’t tell anyone else of this plan for... some reason or another.

Inside the house Lilo and Stitch were getting ready to practice so Yakumo decided to go with them.

Riku: I honestly forgot she was here.
Kairi: Nothing wrong with letting some other characters enjoy the spotlight, but she is the lead character of this fic.

They gathered some things and then went to the tree house where Lilo started the story.

"This is how the story goes Stitch. Once there was a beautiful Goddess named Hi'iaka and a handsome mortal named Lohiau."

Stitch came forward to play Lohiau, started to dance, but Lilo corrected him.

"They were as close as two people come be."

They started to dance but they rammed into each other falling back, "Oops."

Back in Lilo's room, they started to make the costumes they would need for the story.

"But one day Pele the Volcano Goddess grew jealous of their friendship."

Sora: ...Is she really taking this many huge pauses in telling her story, or is the editing being weird just to plain be weird?
Riku: Montages and voiceovers also don’t work in writing form. Again, nice effort but it’s sadly wasted.

Stitch held up the mask pretending to be scary. At dinner Lilo and Stitch continued to practice and they were getting better.

Demyx: Sure is amazing how you can get better at dancing once you actually do it.

"So she took Lohiau and threw him into a volcano filled with molten lava."

Kairi: Unlike those other volcanoes that are filled with delicious soft-serve ice cream.

Stitch tripped and called out before landing face first in a bowl of mashed potatoes.

"Oh Stitch." Nani said standing.

Stitch looked back at and said, "My bad."

Demyx: Blandly written jokes also don't work, but that one's a given.

That night Nani said good night to them and went downstairs thinking they were asleep.

"She's gone." Yakumo whispered.

Lilo opened her eyes and threw off her covers. She looked down at Stitch who did the same. Yakumo helped Stitch onto Lilo's bed and sat down to watch them.

Sora: (as Vanessa) Uh HELLO?! Remember me? Fire goddess that gave you amazing powers so you could save the worlds from the incoming threat of darkness totally consuming them? We going to get back to that?
Riku: (as Yakumo) Dance contest. More important.

"Hi'iaka discovered his body in a cavern by the sea cliff. And she stayed with him praying to the Gods to bring Lohiau's Spirit back."

The next morning Lilo and Stitch were putting the finishing touches on their moves.

"And it worked! Her love brought him back to life. Proving that love is more powerful than death." Lilo finished.

Kairi: It only took her several hours to finally finish a nine sentence story.

Lilo said they were ready and soon it was time for rehearsal. Yakumo said she would go and watch as did Sora. Really Sora was going to keep an eye on Stitch just in case something happened.

Riku: He wouldn't actually do anything, but he'd keep watch and take pictures.

Soon they got there and it was Lilo's turn.

She started, "Our Hula is about an ancient friendship that proves love is more powerful than death."

"Oh brother." Myrtle commented.

Demyx: (as Myrtyle) I just realized how the whole ‘Stitch breaking down’ subplot is going to be resolved. Boy, even for Disney this is going to be a glurge fest.

Yakumo and Sora rolled their eyes as they watched Lilo continue. She was doing well until she called out for Stitch who for some reason wasn't coming out.

Riku: Gee, I wonder if he’ll go ballistic again?

Suddenly Stitch came out freaking out again and Sora grabbed him.

Demyx: *deadpan* Oh no. Who would have thunk it.

He held him down until the kids got out.

Kairi: You took a creature that keeps going dangerously out of control to where children are and are surprised it went wrong? That’s like taking the Tasmanian devil to your tap dance class: it’s your fault for not knowing any better.

Then Stitch stopped so Sora let him go. Lilo looked upset and ran out of the Hula hall leaving Stitch behind. Stitch looked upset and Sora sighed slightly.

Riku: I never thought we’d have to explain the base concept for conflict in storytelling, but the characters actually need to care about the problem they’re trying to solve. They just seem a bit miffed about this whole thing.

Stitch left too and disappeared.

"He's probably going to find Lilo." Yakumo stated.

"Yeah." Sora said sadly.

Yakumo caught this and asked, "ok Sora what's going on?"

Sora looked confused, "What do you mean?"

Kairi: I know he’s fibbing, but he could also be completely unaware of what’s happening.
Sora: Stitch is DYING and everyone’s treating it like he’s got a mild cold!

"You know what's wrong with Stitch don't you?" Yakumo asked.

Sora sighed, "Yeah I know but I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

Demyx: Because that would ruin the cheap drama.

"Because Jumba doesn't want you guys worrying about this. That's all I'm saying." Sora said before walking away.

Riku: (as Sora) There, that cryptic statement won't possibly make you worry about what we're hiding!

Yakumo groaned, "Men!"

Kairi: What? What did that have to do with anything?
Demyx: (as Yakumo) Random sexist horsepoopy UGH!

Voiceover: Back at home, Stitch and Lilo get into an argument.

"Why are you fighting?" Nani asked.

"Because he ruins everything." Lilo stated.

"Not my fault." Stitch stated.

Riku: Agreed.
Sora: You KNOW his biological structure is breaking down. It very much ISN’T his fault!

"Then whose fault is it?" Lilo asked before leaping at Stitch.

Riku grabbed Stitch and Nani grabbed Lilo. They pulled them apart but it didn't long for Stitch to get free from Riku. Nani wrestled them to the ground before standing up.

"That is it! Go to your room and make up like loving friends."

"You're gross." Lilo said to Stitch.

"Stupid Head." Stitch said to Lilo.

Kairi: (as Lilo) Four-arms.
Sora: (as Stitch) Not-Daveigh-Chase.

"Keep walking." Riku demined.

Kairi: Could be a typo on ‘demanded’, could be a roundabout metaphor for Riku stopping the fight like removing mines from a battlefield. You decide, audience.

They walked back upstairs as Riku and Nani sighed.

Kairi: (as Nani) Kids, amirite?
Riku: (as self) Tell me about it.

Riku sat back on the couch and said, "Thanks for the help."

Yakumo and Kairi looked at each other sighing and then back at Riku. On the ship Jumba revealed the new machine.

Sora: Wait wait wait, back up a step there! Did the girls just shrug Riku off? Why?!
Riku: I know Yakumo has her reasons for distrusting boys but she could still be concerned for Lilo.
Kairi: I could have helped you, Riku, but I decided sleeping on the couch all day was more fun.

"So does it work?" Sora asked looking at it.

So Jumba turned it on and it started to glow. But then it blew up sending smoke everywhere.

Demyx: Everyone died, the end.

"Jumba you ok?" Sora asked waving away the smoke.

Riku: (as Jumba) Perfectly fine! I can reattach these limbs easily enough.

Then Jumba started to say it was over but Pleakley told him not to give up yet.

Demyx: This is all bland with a capital B.
Kairi: This fic had a lot of problems but ‘boring’ was never one of them.

So Jumba tried again to remake the Fusion Chamber. So the next day Lilo started to get ready for the Mayday Celebration without Stitch. When it was time she got dressed in her costume and they left the house meeting up with Sora as they did.

"What? Did you think I'd miss this?" Sora asked.

Riku: No, but I did think this arc would find some way to include elements from the games. All we've done so far is observe the events of 'Stitch Has a Glitch' but not add anything.
Sora: There should be Heartless. Think about it! People have already accepted aliens exist in this world, it wouldn't be that much of a stretch to add in some sci-fi themed Heartless. That would give us a reason to stick around and help everyone.
Kairi: Then there could also be an outside force disrupting Lilo's dance contest and diverting attention away from Stitch. I can't say any of these suggestions would make the story great, but they would help it make a bit more sense.

Voiceover: The dance is cut short when very drily exposited news of Stitch breaking down gets to them. He crashes a spaceship. Again, very dry exposition.

"We have to get up there." Sora said.

Nani went to the truck of the car and Lilo followed with Sora. Nani opened the truck to reveal the hovercraft in the truck.

"It was my best hiding spot." Nani said.

Riku: Who would ever think she’d hide a vehicle inside a vehicle inside another vehicle? It’s a brilliant ruse!
Kairi: But, seriously, how do you manage to misspell ‘trunk’ that many times?

Lilo hugged her before her and Sora got in. They flew off to find Stitch and they got there quickly.

Demyx: I hope the trip was more exciting than that sentence.

Sora helped Lilo move some debris to reveal the Fusion Chamber and then they heard groaning. They rushed over and saw Stitch who looked hurt. Lilo went over to him, lifted him up, and brought him back. Sora opened the Fusion Chamber and Lilo put Stitch inside. Sora helped Lilo pull down the lever to start the machine up.

Riku: Bad news, we accidentally grabbed the pachinko machine instead.
Kairi: WHIRR CLUNK CLINK! We'll save you, Stitch! KLANG TIC CHANG!

It started to glow and they went to the glass. Stitch looked like he was barely awake and barely holding on.

"Stitch you're going to be ok now." Lilo said before she whispered, "Please be ok."

Stitch lifted one of his hands, placed it where Lilo's was, said

Sora: (as Stitch) The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

he was sorry, and then let his hand fall. Stitch took one last breath and then nothing.

Demyx: That nothing was the emotions I’m feeling for this death scene.
Kairi: But I thought you didn’t have any—
Demyx: Emotions schmotions, this is dull!

Jumba had just gotten up and Lilo rushed over explaining the machine wasn't working. Jumba looked at Stitch, then at the gage, and sighed.

"We're too late." Jumba said.

Riku: (as Jumba) Too bad, so sad, I’ll see you all back at home. *leaves*

Nani started to cry and Lilo looked upset as Jumba turned off the machine.

Kairi: …‘upset’…
Sora: Well… They say the first stage of grief is denial—
Kairi: ‘UPSET’?
Demyx: Even when Stitch is dead there are no fucks given! *swear jar*

Sora lifted up the glass and lifted Stitch's body out of the machine. Sure he was upset as was everyone else but right now he needed to keep it together.

Riku: Sure, he could have human emotions, and he’s currently holding a lifeless body which usually messes with people’s heads, but he decided now was the best time to MAN UP.

Lilo rushed over and took Stitch's body setting it in her lap. Jumba told her there was nothing she could do and Nani wanted her to come to her. She refused and took off the flower that was in her hair.

Sora: Shouldn't Lilo be saying something about unconiditional love here?
Kairi: Uhhh COMPUTER!
Voiceover: *beep boop blip* Quote: You're my ohana, Stitch, and I'll always love you.
Demyx: Doesn't say a lot for a fic's quality when it can't even copy-paste right.

She wanted Stitch to come back placing the flower on Stitch and then she started to cry.

Sora: Quick, tell him you love him before the last petal falls! That’ll bring him back to life!

Everyone let her cry knowing nothing could be done.

Demyx: Unless…!

Or so they thought. No one noticed that the gage on the machine started to light up again. The gage started to full all the way back up and Stitch started to move again.

Kairi: Looks like Jumba accidentally made a Deus Ex Machina Reactor instead. What a happy coincidence.

Lilo looked surprised but smiled as Stitch opened his eyes.

"Stitch not dead. Stitch Fuffy." Stitch said.

Riku: (as Stitch) Stitch have no consequences or satisfying conclusion.

"Stitch." Lilo shouted happily.

Kairi: Her joy practically leaps off the screen.

They hugged as the gage filled all the way up. Everyone went over to see Stitch happy he was alive.

"But how is that possible?" Pleakley asked Jumba.

Jumba shrugged, "It's not."

Demyx: Yeah, I call bull on this too. No one did anything.
Riku: You can’t even say the power of love solved that one. I think Stitch just needed a hard reboot.

They went over too and Lilo told Stitch that he was fine now. When they got back to the Celebration everyone was gone so Sora suggest they watch as Lilo does her Hula. Stitch wanted to do it along with Nani, David,

Sora: Who is here now, I guess. Where’s he been for the rest of the story and what’s he been doing? Who knows, who cares!

Jumba, and Pleakley. They watched as Lilo told her story and did their dance. When they finished, Sora and his friends clapped for a job well done.

Demyx: Hoorah! That was so. Totally. Worth it.

"You would have been able to win that contest Lilo." Riku said.

"It's alright that I didn't. After all there's always next year." Lilo said.

Suddenly the flower in Lilo's hair started to glow.

Kairi: The contrivance is already over, flower. If you want to magically revive someone from the dead, I hear ‘Tangled’ is interested.

Sora summoned his Keyblade and got ready. A lock appeared in the sky and Sora shot a beam of light into it. The lock clicked and disappeared.

Riku: We came, we saw, we affected nothing. Now we leave.

"We have to go but is it alright if we come back?" Sora asked.

Demyx: No! This was the most boring thing I’ve ever read, don’t you dare come back here!

"Of course." Nani said.

"Come back soon." Lilo said.

Demyx: If you dare come back here I will encase you all in water until I see the bubbles stop.
Sora: You get cranky when you’re bored.

Sora nodded and said to Stitch, "See you next time I summon you ok?"

Stitch agreed and said goodbye. They said good bye and left for their Gummi Ship.

The End of Aloha Stitch

Demyx: Good riddance to Stitch.
Kairi: *shakes head* You've had such an easy life until now, haven't you?

Life Under the Sea

On the Gummi Ship:

"Here's the next world but it looks like it's underwater." Riku explained.

Demyx: Looks like even the author had my bubbles stop plan.

"Really? Alright we're at Atlantica." Sora said.

"So how do we land?" Riku asked.

Sora got up and said, "Don't worry. Just set the course and it will drop us off."

"But Sora we can't breathe underwater." Kairi pointed out.

Sora smiled, "Actually we can. Thanks to a spell Donald taught me."

Sora: Why aren't Donald and Goofy here? I mean, I know WHY, but I don't think there's an in-story reason.
Riku: They've teamed up with Mickey to actually solve the Heartless threat. That explains why none of them are present.

They looked unsure as they disappeared going into the world. Under the water, everything was normal. Fish were swimming around not brothering anyone.

Kairi: They weren’t sistering anyone either.

Suddenly a bright light flashed and Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Yakumo came out. Yakumo landed on her back, Kairi landed on her side, and Riku slammed against the wall. Sora looked around being the only one who managed to stay up.

Demyx: You think Mr Darky Dark Darkness over there would have better balance.
Riku: And you'd think a grown man wouldn't sulk in his room because Santa didn't give him a present.
Demyx: ...You fight dirty.

Yakumo rubbed her head and asked, "Was that supposed to happen?"

Kairi: (as Sora) Yep. You're welcome!

Then Yakumo noticed something weird. Now she had a gold fin and gold shells.

"What the?" Kairi asked noticing the same had happened to her.

Her's were pink and Sora smiled slightly swimming over.

Demyx: You say 'smiling slightly,' I see 'smiling lewdly.'

"You guys are mermaids now. That spell transformed us into fish so we could breathe underwater." Sora explained.

Riku: So… his spell forcibly strips everyone?
Sora: Or I know we didn’t have a washer and dryer aboard the Gummi ship and wanted to save us some trouble.

Voiceover: Riku’s a shark. They meet Sebastian and Flounder.

Flounder came swimming over and said, "Welcome back Sora. Who are your friends?"

Kairi: (as Flounder) And what happened to the duck and dog you used to be friends with?

"This Kairi, Riku, and Yakumo. They're new here so they're not very good at swimming yet." Sora explained.

Flounder swam over to them, "Follow me. I'll teach you how to swim around here."

Flounder went off and they followed while Sora talked to Sebastian, "So how are things around here?"

Riku: (as Sebastian) Pollution. Lots of it.

"Things have been quiet since Ariel left with Eric." Sebastian said.

Kairi: Which means we won't be seeing her steal the trident for... What would we be up to now, the fourth time?

"Yeah I'd bet. Do you know how she's doing?"

"Last King Triton heard from her, Ariel is going to have a baby."

Demyx: If I have to read another IMDB synopsis of a Disney sequel I am gone.

Sora smiled, "Really? That's great Sebastian."

"What's great Sora?" Riku asked swimming over.

Demyx: (as Sora) *jovially* Ariel got knocked up!

"Looks like you guys have gotten the swimming thing down."

Yakumo smiled, "Yeah it was pretty easy when you get the hang of it.

Sora: (as Yakumo) And once the shock of you changing my genetic structure wore off.

So what's the good new Sora?"

"Well Ariel, the daughter of King Triton, became a human and married someone named Prince Eric.

Kairi: See, that’s how you summarize a movie. One or two lines. Not one or two chapters.

I just found out that she's going to have a baby." Sora explained.

"That's awesome Sora." Kairi said.

Demyx: Why are you all weirdly obsessed with Ariel’s lost virginity?
Kairi: I’m guessing this writer was too young to have had The Talk yet.

Riku asked, "So this child will be from the sea and land?"

Sebastian nodded, "The first one ever."

Sora: The first amphibious child ever!

"Good for Ariel." Yakumo said.

Kairi: Good for her, her ovaries work.

The happy moment was interrupted by a scream.

Demyx: My cabbages!

They looked ahead only to see Heartless coming at them.

Kairi: (as Heartless) We wanna join in on the baby celebrations too!
Riku: (as Heartless) When's the due date?
Sora: (as Heartless) WHEN'S THE SHOWER?

They got out their weapons and started to attack them. They only killed a few of them before the Heartless back off and went away.

"Great the Heartless are here too." Riku said.

Riku: I’m sure that was meant to be sarcastic but…
Sora: Hooray, something to do is back again!

Voiceover: Maybe King Triton knows where these Heartless are coming from.

So they went off to see King Triton with Sebastian and Flounder. When they got into the throne room, King Triton looked upset.

"Your majesty Sora is back with his friends." Sebastian said swimming over to him.

Demyx: (as Triton) I know! That’s why I’m so upset.

King Triton looked and said, "Sora welcome back. I'm guessing you're here to stop our Heartless problem."

"That is my job King Triton." Sora said with a small smile.

Riku: More like it's your destiny.
Sora: What's the difference?
Demyx: Destiny doesn't hand out paycheques.
Kairi: In all honesty, that line was pretty cute.

"Yes you and your friends will be able to handle this right?"

"Yes we will but we need to know where they're coming from first. Do you have any idea where?" Sora said.

King Triton thought for a moment before saying, "We first saw the Heartless attack nearby Ariel's gotto."

Riku: It’s like a grotto only a bit smaller.

"Thank you King Triton. We'll go check it out." Sora bowed before turning to his friends, "Come on guys follow me."

Sora swam off and each one of his friends bowed also before following Sora. Sora led them to Ariel's gotto but they didn't go inside yet.

Demyx: We gotta go to the gotto!

"So what's inside the gotto Sora?" Riku asked.

Kairi: The fabled Spell Check.

"All of Ariel's things that she's collected from the human world. She always dream about living with the humans and now her dreams come true."

Sora: (as self) So that means she won’t mind if we wreck all her stuff. I dibs smashing all the fine china!

Yakumo looked around and spotted something, "Guys look. Some things out there."

Kairi: (as Yakumo) And I sure spotted that something!

Suddenly a large shark came out from the reef and came towards them. They swam out of the way and got out their weapons.

Sora: Wha- that’s not what Keyblades are for!
Kairi: Look, a threatened species. LET’S MURDER IT!
Riku: ...Sora, didn't you beat up Sabor multiple times?
Sora: *affronted* Only because he attacked me first!

They tried to attack but the shark was too fast.

Kairi: Remember the oath, Bruce! Fish are friends, not food!

The shark bit Kairi's arm but she managed to slash it away soon after.

Riku: She died from blood loss soon after.

Yakumo tried a fire spell, it worked, but it was weaker than usually.

"Oh right. Water cancels out fire." Yakumo said to herself.

Demyx: (as Vanessa) I am regretting every life choice I’ve ever made, I hope you know.

Then the shark came after her so she waited for it.

Kairi: (as Yakumo) *open arms* Take me away, death!

When it got closer, she raised her sword and slammed it onto the shark's nose.

Sora: Bonk!

The shark recoiled and quickly swam away.

Riku: We embarrassed it into submission.

"Kairi you ok?" Sora asked worried.

"Yeah I'm alright Sora. The shark bite didn't do a lot of damage." Kairi explained with a smile.

Demyx: *sarcastic* As, you know, shark bites normally do.
Kairi: I’m all for not showcasing sharks as movie monsters, but it’s still a shark bite. Nature looked at those giant fish it had created and decided "You know what those need to specialize in? Teeth, all the teeth!"

Sora seemed to relax and Yakumo used Cure on Kairi's wound. Sora went over and moved the rock in front of the gotto.

Kairi: Oh. You’re really going to keep spelling it like that.

It revealed an opening in the rock and Sora swam inside followed by his friends.

Sora came to stop and said, "Wait guys. Look."

They looked ahead and saw someone sitting there. It was a girl that looked like a squid but Yakumo knew who she was.

Sora: Morgana!

"Mist." Yakumo said quietly.

Sora: Oh.

"She must be the one causing all the Heartless attacks." Sora replied quietly.

Demyx: She's a kid now AND a squid now!

Voiceover: Apparently Heartless have a language but no one understands them.


The Heartless looked scared and disappeared.

Sora: (as Heartless) Let’s cheese it, guys, Mom’s really mad!

They went out of the cave so they wouldn't get spotted. They hid as they heard Mist come out of the gotto. Mist moved the rock back into place and headed off towards Atlantica.

"Come on we have to hurry." Yakumo said.

They swam off to Atlantica hoping to cut Mist off before she got there. Mist sent out her Heartless to attack Atlantica but suddenly they were all destroyed.

Demyx: (as Mist) Whoopsy, forgot to conjure up the water soluble Heartless. That had to be a painful way to go.

Mist looked back and smiled, "Well look who's here."

Sora and the others were close by ready for a fight.

Kairi: We were standing just to the left of the camera.

Mist snapped her fingers and sent Heartless after them. They easily killed all the Heartless that Mist sent at them.

Riku: That fight scene must have taken months to conceive.

Mist looked mad and started to swim off.

"Oh no you don't." Yakumo said swimming after her.

Yakumo caught up to her and slashed at her with her sword. Mist blocked it with one of her arrows

Sora: How in the how?

and pushed Yakumo back.

Riku: Did Mist shoot an arrow at her as a distraction or did she merely use a single arrow as the world's worst idea for a shield?
Demyx: (as Mist) Beware my fletching!

"You can't win. Your fire powers are useless down." Mist said sending a wind attack at Yakumo.

The wind spell mixed with the water making it even more powerful.

Kairi: Jiraiya sure is a useful Persona for this area.

It slammed into Yakumo hard but she still held her ground. Yakumo shook her head and glared at mist.

"So what? My fire spells may not work but my sword still works fine."

Demyx: (as Yakumo) I’m in the mood for calamari tonight!

Yakumo charged at Mist slashing her arm with the sword. Mist growled and shot another wind spell at Yakumo. Yakumo got out of the way just in time and slashed at Mist again. This time she got Mist across the chest but the wound wasn't that bad.

Riku: And then the shark from earlier returned, drawn by the scent of fresh blood.

Mist shot an arrow but Yakumo also dodged that one. Mist growled again and sent Heartless at Yakumo. Yakumo fought them off leaving Mist to swim away.

Kairi: I'd question why she didn't summon Heartless before if it's so easy, but I'm more busy questioning how these arrows work. Are they magic? The excuse that they're magic would help explain how they work underwater. Again, our suggestions may not make the story great but could help.

She was starting to have a little trouble with the Heartless and knew she couldn't let Mist get away. Her friends came in and helped her beat the Heartless.

Sora: We could have helped before, but we were too busy watching the fight.
Demyx: …eating popcorn and taking bets.

"Where's Mist?" Sora asked.

Yakumo pointed the way, "She was heading towards King Triton's throne room."

"Then let's go." Kairi said.

Kairi: (as self) Mist will cause yet another stealing the trident plotline. Quickly! We must stop her!

"Actually we might want to wait a few minutes." Sora said quickly.

"Why?" Riku asked confused.

Sora looked nervous, "Well…you've never seen King Triton mad….."

Then an explosion went off from the throne room and Sora pointed out, "That was most likely him."

Riku: He combusted again. Better get the mops and buckets for viscera.

They went over to see what had happened and went into the throne room. They looked around but didn't see Mist or any Heartless nearby.

"Where did she go?" Yakumo asked.

"That squid left here moments after I attacked her. She couldn't handle my powers." King Triton said setting the Trident next to him.

Kairi: (as King Triton) She left at great speed in several pieces, but left all the same.

"Told you. Not someone to mess with." Sora mumbled.

"Tell me Sora who was that girl?" King Triton asked.

Sora: (as self) I don't know. I've heard her called the Mist Ranger.

"I think Yakumo can explain that one better." Sora said.

Yakumo swam forward, "Well King Triton her name is Mist and she comes from my world."

"Your world?"

Riku: ...Does Anime Aladdin Land even have a name?
Kairi: Even something simple like 'Land of the Two Kingdoms' would work.

"Yes you see my world has two kingdoms: one of light and one of dark. Mist is the princess of the dark Kingdom. She has control over the Heartless and the power of wind on her side." Yakumo explained.

"I see. Now tell me which side are you from."

Sora: (as Yakumo) ...the light one. I figured you’d connect those dots for yourself.

Yakumo paused for a moment, "I'm Princess Yakumo from the light Kingdom and the wielder of the power of fire."

Demyx: (as Yakumo) Sorry, had to think about my own backstory for a sec.

"I see. I'm guessing you left your world to stop Mist from taking over the worlds." King Triton said.

"Yes King Triton."

King Triton nodded, "Very well. It seems you're in good hands with Sora and his friends."

Riku: (as Triton) With the logic of "I tagged along for fun", you've made a convincing case for yourself.

Sebastian came in and said, "Your majesty the Heartless have disappeared from Atlantica."

"Good." King Triton said.

Demyx:(as Triton) That was a fun afternoon-long crisis. Let’s get back to whatever we usually do down here.

Then Sora's Keyblade appeared and he got ready. The rock in front of the gotto

Riku: Please let the 18th letter of the alphabet be part of your world.
Kairi: *softly singing* I want to see… the use of the letter R…

began to glow also and a lock appeared in the sky. Sora shot a beam of light into it, it clicked, and disappeared.

"Goodbye Sora. We shall contact you if anything else happens." King Triton said.

Riku: (as Triton) We’ll get underwater cell phone coverage eventually.

They bowed and left the throne room. They got back on the Gummi Ship and took off for another world.

The end of Life Under the Sea

Demyx: Because all life under the sea died out in order to escape any more badfics.

(To everyone’s surprise, the door opens and in flutters Mog.)
Mog: Hi, everybody! How’d it go?

Demyx: AWFUL!
Sora: I dunno, I think the rest of us had fun.
Kairi: Why are you back here, Mog? I thought you were taking a break while we read through this one.
Mog: Break’s over and so’s the fic for now.
Riku: But aren’t there more chapters left?
Mog: Yep! But they start going into crossover worlds—like Ruroni Kenshin, FullMetal Alchemist, Stars Wars, specif’cly Clone Wars, Claymore—so for simple’s sake we’re going to stop here. Besides, the story's not done yet 'cause the writer's still writin' it.
Kairi: Aw, good for them. I hope they have fun.
(The group departs. The trio of friends try to convince Demyx he's had it easy on the way out the door.)
Mog: Le'see what's next on the reading list. *hums to himself as he flips through some papers until he finds what he's looking for* Oh ho ho ho, it's tea time!
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