thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
[personal profile] thelectureroom
Title: Meeting the Princess
Author: Michigo Sinister
Rating: A lot to be desired in the writing, but overall it’s fine.
Full Name (including any titles): Princess Yakumo.
Full Species(es): Reincarnated goddess, I guess?
Hair Color (include adjectives): Long red hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Brown.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Usually none, but can activate fairy wings mode.
Special Possessions (if any): Magical animal sidekick that does indeed become a possession at one point.

Origin: Lots of all-nighters spent marathoning favourite anime series.
Connections To Canon Characters: Becomes friends. We’re okay with that.
Special Abilities: Fire, flying, healing.
Other Annoying Traits: Learning new abilities instantaneously.

I Say/Notes: This fic is like a litmus test for badfics—Mary Sue clichés, crossovers with author’s favourite shows, stilted prose— but it’s too innocent to get annoyed at. I want to hug this fic, it’s like a precious child.

(Our trio of usual heroes is walking down the hall to yet another riffing session but, strangely, they're not on their way to the familiar lecture room.)
Sora: Did Mog even say why we're in a different room today?
Riku: Only that "badfic rests for no moogle" but he really needed a vacation regardless.
Kairi: He sure looked tired the last time I saw him, I hope the little guy's okay.
(They open the door to reveal a surprisingly modern classroom complete with comfortably padded seats, a large LCD screen connected to a computer, and...)
Demyx: Yo!
Riku: Why are you of all people here?
Demyx: *grin* A moogle said he needed me to save the day so here I am!
Sora: Didn't Mog mention something once that you're the only Organization flunky that hasn't been here yet?
Demyx: *grin slightly diminished* I like my wording of that better.
Computer voiceover: Please take your seats.
Kairi: Ooh, fancy.
Voiceover: Today will be different from normal procedures. Not only has the location been changed but Management searched for a story tagged with King Mickey as a main character to find new material. One such story features an original character that exhibits many of the common Mary Sue traits.
Riku: So it’s a retro kind of badness for today? *shrugs* Sure, sounds more fun than another romance drama.
Demyx: Why’s Axel always moaning about this job, it seems so easy.
Voiceover: We will now begin.

In a beautiful world lay two kingdoms.

Kairi: Ugly worlds only get half a kingdom.

One was a kingdom of light; the other was a kingdom of darkness.

Riku: The duchies consisted of cabbages.
Demyx: Rotten cabbages at that.

The light kingdom lived in peace for a long time.

Sora: Until a giant stole their magical singing harp.

But that would all soon change. Soon in the darkness of the night, black creatures would appear and take away the hearts of the people in the light kingdom.

But one girl rises up to fight against the darkness with three noble warriors with Keyblades. Together they defeated all the darkness that they could but the girl had to give her life in order to bring peace back to her world.

Sora: Cool, the story's done already. *stands up to leave*
Riku: *pulls him back into seat* We've used that joke before.

She brought back everyone who's hearts were taken by the darkness. No one forgot the story of the girl, who was known as a fire goddess, and the three warriors who saved the world.

The people of the light kingdom thought the darkness was gone forever…..but they were wrong.

Kairi: That is a pretty good summary of how these sessions go.

Meeting the Princess

Sora: Zelda?
Riku: Peach?
Kairi: Tutu?
Demyx: Consweylla Bannanahammock?

Three beams of light appeared in a kingdom and disappeared. Then someone came to look around and it was revealed to be Sora.

Demyx: Revealed to the random passerby who's now swearing off drinking in the morning.

"Ok….I have no idea where we are." Sora said to the other two.

The other joined were Riku and Kairi; they went to join their friend.

"Well King Mickey said that someone in this world will be joining our team to help us beat the darkness." Riku pointed out.

Riku: (as self) How he knows this and what the person's name is didn't seem important at the time.

Voiceover: They decide to look for this person.

"You know you should go see the royal family. I'm sure they would love to meet you three." One old lady said.

"Where does the family live?" Sora asked.

Riku looked and answered, "Mostly like in the castle over there."

Sora and Kairi looked to see a white castle surrounded by a white wall not too far away.

Demyx: You're an observant bunch, aren't you?

"Yes that where they live. The royal family has a king, queen, prince, and a princess." Another girl explained before adding under her breath, "….Even thought she doesn't act like it."

The old lady shook her head and said good bye to them. They decided to go to the castle to see what they could find out. They were at first stopped by the guards but, once they said they wanted to meet to royal family, they let them in.

Sora: Top of the line security!
Riku: (as guards) What business do you have in the castle?
Kairi: (as trio) We just want to meet the princess.
Riku: (as guards) Then why do you have so many burlap sacks and ropes with you?
Kairi: (as trio) Those are, uh, gifts for the royal family. Yeah, totally.
Riku: (as guards) Oh, okay. You seem fully legit. Enjoy your stay!

They weren't in there very long before a young man greeted them, "Welcome to the castle. I'm Prince Hotaku."


They bowed slightly and Sora said, "I'm Sora and these are my friends Riku and Kairi."

"Sora huh? Hmmmm…you wouldn't have to be the Keyblade master Sora would you?" Hotaku asked.

"Prince how did you know that?" Sora asked slightly surprised.

Sora: *grin* Because I'm awesome and my reputation precedes me?

Hotaku laughed a little and explained, "This kingdom hears many stories from the other worlds and you don't have to call me Prince."

Kairi: (as Hotaku) Call me Mr. Snuggyworth.

Riku sighed slightly and said, "Ok Hotaku. How does this world hear stories or even know of the other worlds."

"Because we once had mighty warriors from other worlds come and protect this one.

Riku: Then they really botched their job up.
Sora: The most important rule we have is to not tell people of the other worlds!

But that was some time ago even so the stories remand here and were told a number of time. Actually about two years ago, we started hearing new stories about new warriors showing up to face the darkness again." Hotaku explained.

"Two years ago? Sora that's when it Heartless first attacked Destiny Island." Kairi said.

Demyx: (as Kairi) And I think you're too stupid to figure that math out for yourself!

Sora nodded and Hotaku said, "Heartless? So that's what they are called."

"What do you mean?" Sora asked.

"Well a few black creatures have appeared in the kingdom a few times but they disappeared shortly after words." Hotaku explained.

Kairi: (as Hotaku) And the townspeople laughed at me when I made that law demanding everyone carry pocket dictionaries at all times. Well, who's laughing now?!

"That sounds like them." Riku said with a sigh.

Riku: Nothing scares a Heartless more than a huge vocabulary.

Hotaku smiled and said, "Come. Let me show you around."

Demyx: (as Hotaku) That national crisis involving horrible monsters can wait while we hit up all the tourist traps.

Voiceover: The king and queen are met.

The king rushed off to the garden and they slowly followed. They saw a young girl sitting at the edge of a fountain with her back turned. She had long red hair that went to the middle of her back and wore a long white dress that almost went to her ankles. She had on high heel white shoes and a small crown. A white two tailed fox laid next to her with something in its mouth.

Sora: How's the bingo card looking, Kairi?
Kairi: I've marked off Long Hair, Royalty, and the Unusual Animal Friend. Now if only she was a Chosen One or had one of you guys fall in love with her, I'd fill a line!
Demyx: Not if I get a Tragic Past or Super Special Magic Powers first!

When the king got close, the fox looked up and stood up.

"Rukia give me that now!" The king said.

Kairi: Aww, I really thought the fox was gonna be named Kirara.
Riku: I suppose a Bleach reference will have to do instead.

Rukia, the white fox, spat it out and jumped onto the fountain.

The king sighed again and said, "So this is why the prince left in a hurry."

The girl finally turned, they noticed that she had brown eyes,

All: *disappointed* Awwww!
Riku: I really needed an Unusual Eye Colour square.

but only to be greeted by the fox, "Oh father Rukia was just playing with him. Weren't you? You were just playing with that over stuffed prince weren't you?"

All: ...
Kairi: Does the law state that—

"You must marry a Prince!" They both said at the same time.

Sora: Before her—

Yakumo stood up and the king continued, "Before your eighteen birthday."

Riku: And she'll only marry—

This time Yakumo sighed, "Father I don't want to be forced into this. If I do end up marrying someone I want it to be for love."

Demyx: Sooooooo, what this scene is telling us is that we could be watching a good movie instead of reading this fic?

Voiceover: Aladdin Abridged.

The king groaned and Yakumo noticed Sora and his friends, who had stayed quiet through the whole talk.

Kairi: That sense of deja vu was kicking in too strong for us to speak.

"Who are you three?" Yakumo asked.

The king sighed and said, "Yakumo behave yourself. This is Sora, Riku, and Kairi. They got here a while ago. This is my daughter and the Princess of this land Yakumo."

"Nice to meet you Princess." Sora said nicely.

Kairi: Glad to meet you, Kairi said gladly.
Riku: Pleased to meet you, Riku said pleasantly.
Demyx: Sorry to meet you, Demyx said sorrily.

Yakumo looked away and said dryly, "You don't have to call me that. You can call me Yakumo."

Sora: (as self) Sure thing, Yakumo-hime.

Sora looked a little surprised by the tone of voice and said, "Oh ok."

Yakumo looked at Rukia and said, "Well go on."

Demyx: (as Yakumo) Tear their throats out, my pretty pet!

Rukia stood up, jumped off the fountain, and sat down in front of them, "Hello my name is Rukia. I am the guardian fox for the Princess."

Kairi: Talking Guardian Unusual Animal Friend. That should almost count as two squares.

Yakumo laughed a little as she saw their jaws drop.

"Wait you speak English?" Riku asked still surprised.

Demyx: THAT'S what shocks you? Not that it talks at all, but that it talks in English?
Riku: If it spoke Punjabi, I wouldn't even blink.

Voiceover: Yakumo is called away.

The king sighed and said, "I'm sorry for the way my daughter was acting towards you Sora."

"Don't worry about it. I figure she has her reasons." Sora said with a smile.

Sora: Ah-ha! *bangs bingo marker down* Let's her get away with being rude!
Riku: *looks* Is that the only square you have?
Sora: *hides bingo card* I'll get more.

The king smiled and went off saying that they could stay in the castle for as long as they liked. So they started to walk around a little bit. They weren't sure how long or far they had been walking but they came to this room.

All: *look around this room*
Demyx: Darn, no meeting our doubles today.

Voiceover: There are stained glass pictures that tell the story of the prologue.

"Three giant Keys? You mean the Keyblades?" Riku asked.

"That what I think." Hotaku said.

Sora: (as Hotaku) But I also think PB&J sandwiches with tomatoes on top is yummy, so maybe get a second opinion on that.

"King Mickey did say there were other Keyblade masters before us." Kairi pointed out.

Riku: Himself, yeah.
Kairi: Not to mention Aqua, Eraqus, Xehanort, Yen Sid...
Riku: Mickey still counts.

Voiceover: Time to go to bed!

"Good night Yakumo." Kairi said.

Yakumo waved a hand but that's it.

Demyx: Well, excuuu–
Voiceover cuts in: Zelda cartoon references are banned from use. Anyone in violation of this rule is punished with poorly written smut.
Demyx: *clams up*

Hotaku sighed and said, "Don't worry about my sister. She's like that a lot."

"What's her reason?" Riku asked.

Demyx: Bitchiness?
Kairi: Ahem. *holds out swear jar*
Demyx: Wha– Since when were we not allowed to swear?!
Kairi: Since Mog put me in charge. Now enjoy our clean, wholesome fun and pay up, dang it.
Demyx: *grumbles in G rated phrases as he drops in munny*

Hotaku looked unsure and said, "Well she does have a reason but I don't think she'd want me to tell you."

"That's ok. She can tell us when she's ready." Sora said before going into his room.

Riku and Kairi did the same

Sora: (as self) Guys! I'm changing in here, get out of my room!

and Hotaku walked to his. They didn't know that Yakumo was listening to everything they said through her door.


Yakumo sighed slightly and Rukia said, "You know Yakumo you could give them a chance."

"And give them a chance to let me down again. Yeah right!" Yakumo said walking over to her bed.

Rukia watched her and said, "I can understand why you're acting that why towards Sora and Riku but you never act that way towards other girls."

Kairi: Yay, I get special treatment!

Yakumo laid down with a sigh, "I don't know Rukia. A few more days and maybe they'll be gone."

Rukia walked over to her own bed and said, "But I do wonder what a Keyblade is."

Yakumo looked at the ceiling and said, "You and me both Rukia."

Yakumo sighed once more before closing her eyes and going to sleep.

Helping a Friend

The next morning Yakumo got up once the light came into her room. Yakumo got out of bed, fix her hair, put on her crown, and woke up Rukia. Then they left the room and went down the hall.

Demyx: You'll note it only said she put on the crown, not any actual clothes.
Sora: Her castle, she can do what she wants.

Yakumo didn't get too far when she saw Kairi walk out of her room.

Kairi noticed Yakumo and smiled, "Good Morning. How did you sleep?"

Yakumo stopped and said, "Fine. You?"

"Pretty good. It's been a while since we slept somewhere this nice." Kairi said.

"What are you doing up so early Kairi?" Rukia asked.

Sora: (as Kairi) Trying to escape in the early morning light?
Kairi: Oh, shush, you know this isn't all that bad.

Kairi sighed and said, "We usually get up early so we can be ready for anything. But I'll probably have to wake up Sora."

Kairi: *pinches Sora's cheek* Because you're a lazy bum.

"What about Riku?" Yakumo asked.

"He's usually up by—" Kairi started but then they heard Riku's door open.

Riku walked out of the room and closed the door.

Riku noticed them and said, "Morning ladies."

Demyx: Are you even allowed to say that if you're not wearing a pimpin' housecoat and smoking a cigar?

Voiceover: Morning hijinks ensue as Kairi wakes Sora up. Yakumo leaves during.

Kairi looked around and asked, "Hey where's Yakumo?"

Sora: (as Kairi) Where's the new center of our universe gone?

Riku looked back at them and said, "She just left."

Sora and Kairi looked confused and Riku asked, "I wonder what's eating her?"

Demyx: Rabid dogs, dragons, sarlaccs. Any one will do, I'm not picky.

"Don't know." Kairi answered.

Then they went their own ways and Kairi ended up helping Yakumo out with something.

Riku: The riveting detail in this fic is astounding.

Yakumo and Kairi started talking learning more about each other but Kairi still didn't know why she acted the way she did.

Demyx: Then just ask her for crying out loud! Get something done!
Kairi: But that would be rude.
Sora: Maybe but, in your own words, she's not acting very friendly. She can be the exception.

Voiceover: The girls chit-chat in the garden.

"Yakumo! Princess!" came a small voice.

Demyx: Issun has stopped by to see if Yakumo's cup size is up to Mary Sue standards.

They looked to see a little girl with short blonde hair and a purple dress standing at the door to the garden.

Yakumo smiled again and said, "Hey Daisy!"

Sora: (as Yakumo) Come over and give me a hug, you cute ducky, you!
Kairi: Yakumo, Hotaku, Rukia... and Daisy.
Demyx: The fact that these names are stupid just kicked in.

Daisy came running over and gave Yakumo a hug. Yakumo hugged Daisy back and Rukia smiled.

Demyx: (as Rukia) Aww, she didn't punch the girl in the face that time. She's learning!

Voiceover: Introductions.

Daisy smiled and Yakumo asked, "So what are you doing here?"

"My parents wanted to ask the king and queen something.

Riku: (as Daisy) They want to know why the taxes keep going up. We can barely afford food anymore!
Sora: (as Yakumo) I never promised Mom and Dad were kind rulers.

Here I pick these for you." Daisy said holding out some flowers.

They were roses but they were pure white. Yakumo smiled and took the flowers.

"Thank you Daisy. These Hope Flowers are beautiful."

"Hope Flowers?" Kairi asked.

Yakumo nodded and showed the roses to Kairi, "They only grow on this part of the world. It is said that when a Hope Flower glows, it can take away despair and sadness and replace it with hope."

Kairi: (as Yakumo) We also call them Madoka Kaname Flowers, but that’s a lot wordier so no one uses it much.

"Wow cool." Kairi said.

"But that just a legend. No one has seen it happen." Daisy said.

"Well I believe that it will happen someday." Yakumo said.

Then Daisy's parents called for her and Daisy said, "Can I come back?"

"Daisy you know the answer to that question. You and the other little one are always welcome here." Yakumo explained with a smiled.

Sora: *bingo marker* Children love her!
Riku: Anyone ever notice that most Mary Sue traits are just generic tropes that plenty of likeable characters share?
Kairi: Yes, but flaws and hardship are also endearing. Mary Sueness is really just a symptom of the Cliché Writing disease but not the disease itself.

Daisy smiled, hugged Yakumo, and ran over to her parents.

"How old is Daisy?" Kairi asked.

"She's only 5 years old." Yakumo said.

"5 huh? You seem to have a soft spot for kids." Kairi said smiling.

"Yeah I can't help it." Yakumo said lying down on the grass.

Kairi looked confused and asked, "What do you mean?"

Kairi: (as self) I've forgotten the definition of maternal instinct, can you remind me what it is?

"I don't know why but I have this feeling that I have to protect all of them from anything that might hurt them." Yakumo explained.

Kairi smiled and said, "I know that feeling. I get that feeling every time we go to a new world. We always manage to destroy the Heartless with the Keyblades but I still get that feeling."

Demyx: *singing* I've gotta feeling! That tonight's gonna be a good night!
Kairi: *joining in* That tonight's gonna be a protective night!

Voiceover: Keyblade Master talk.

Yakumo smile faded slightly and said, "I guess that means I have to treat them nicely huh?"

Riku: (as Yakumo) Darn stupid respect.

Kairi noticed and asked, "What are you talking about? Ok why are you treating Sora and Riku differently than me?"

Yakumo sighed and looked away, "It…..It's kind of a long story."

Kairi placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled. Yakumo looked at her and sighed once more. Then Yakumo started to tell Kairi her story. Kairi could barely believe the story and she saw the way it upset Yakumo. When Yakumo was finished all she did was sigh.

Sora: (as Yakumo) And that's the story of how the giant apricot of legend exploded and I had to save everyone with the help of a time travelling capuchin monkey.

"That's too bad." Kairi said.

Yakumo looked away again and asked, "Can you not tell Sora and Riku about this?"

"Why? They would want to know." Kairi asked.

Kairi: (as self) They'd want to know how you defeated the killer dime with only a bag of flour.

"Please I don't want them to find out yet." Yakumo said sadly.

Kairi nodded, "Ok I won't tell them. But I'll tell you that they would never treat you that way."

"I hope not." Yakumo said in a hopeful tone.

Demyx: I hope yes, Demyx said in a hopeless tone.

Kairi smiled again and said, "I know they wouldn't. "

They saw the setting sun and Yakumo said, "Already? Man it feels like the day just started. "

Riku: Yeah, this fic moves along at a breakneck pace.

Kairi and Yakumo stood up and went inside with Rukia following them. When Yakumo was going back to her room she nearly ran into Riku. She said sorry and continued on her way. Riku just shook his head and went to this room. The next morning Yakumo was already out because she was called out to do something.

Sora: Wait, what was the point of not really bumping into Riku? Was that supposed to be humorous or showing she’s working towards being nicer to him? Both, neither? I don’t know!

No one saw her until about midday. Yakumo was running through the castle with Rukia following her. Yakumo was holding a white piece of cloth to her upper right arm and it had some red on it.

"Yakumo are you sure you're ok?" Rukia asked worried.

"I'm fine Rukia. I just need to get to my room. I can take care of it there." Yakumo said.

Kairi: (as Yakumo) I can't let Mom find out I got ketchup stains on my dress again! She'll ground me for, like, ever!

Yakumo wasn't paying a lot of attention and rounded a corner only to ram right it Riku. Both fell to the ground with a thud.

Demyx: Awesome job, Riku, you took her down!

Riku sat up and said, "I'm sorry Yakumo. Are you ok?"

Yakumo sat up, trying her best to hide her arm, and said, "Yeah I'm ok."

Riku: (to Kairi) Are you ok?
Kairi: Yeah, I'm pretty ok.
Riku: Ok then.

Even though she tried to hide it, Riku still noticed the cloth, "What happened to your arm?"

Yakumo looked worried and quickly stood up, "Nothing it's just a scratch. I'm ok."

Demyx: 'Tis but a scratch.

"We can help you if you—" Sora started but was cut off.

"No I'm ok.

Riku: (to Sora) Are you ok?
Sora: I'm marginally ok, but I think I could be happier with my okayness.
Riku: Ok then.

Don't worry." Yakumo said before running passed Riku.

She just got passed him when Riku grabbed the cloth. He pulled it off and it revealed a deep cut on her arm.

"Yakumo what happened?" Riku asked again.

"Nothing I'm ok.

Riku: (to Demyx) Are you ok?
Demyx: No, I'm not ok.
Riku: Maybe I'm not ok with you not being okay.
Demyx: Maybe I'm okay with you not being okay that I'm not okay.
Riku: *snaps fingers* Ok!

I can handle this." Yakumo said before she turning again.

This time Kairi got in front of her stopping her.

"Wait I can heal that." Kairi said.

Yakumo sighed and said, "Look I can take care of this. It's ok."

Sora: Okay, now we're into full out Bob Webber mode.

Voiceover: Kairi heals the wound.

"Thanks I guess." Yakumo said.

"Now care to tell us what happened?" Kairi said.

Yakumo sighed and said, "Just someone who thought he could get his way but couldn't."

Sora: *horrified* Someone tried to knife her?! I know she's not the best character around but still! We just make jokes, we don't actually hurt her!
Riku: And in true Sue fashion, this legitimate issue will be dropped and she'll never tell her father— the king— about it.

Kairi understood but Sora and Riku were confused.

Sora: And still horrified! Who would attack a young girl?!

"What do you mean?" Sora asked.

"Nothing." Yakumo said before walking away.

Rukia followed but Yakumo was stopped again by Kairi.

"Wait Yakumo. You should tell them about what happened before. They understand more."

Yakumo stopped walking and said quietly, "I can't."

"Then let me explain." Kairi said.

Yakumo nodded and walked away with Rukia.

Riku: She gave up that fight quick.
Kairi: (as self) You have to tell them, Yakumo.
Demyx: (as Yakumo) NO!
Kairi: (as self) You really should tell them, Yakumo.
Demyx: (as Yakumo) NO!
Kairi: (as self) What if I told them the exact same stuff you would tell them?
Demyx: (as Yakumo) Awesome, you'll do all the work for me. Laters! *leaps away*

Kairi turned to Sora and Riku, "Ok

All: *snap fingers*

here's the thing. When Yakumo was younger, the boy in the kingdom acted like they loved her. But it was all an act…the boys only liked her because of the power she had as a princess. That led to the boys breaking her heart a lot of times. So Yakumo hasn't let any boy that wasn't in family near her for years. The boys come back and try to started trouble but Yakumo tried her best to stay away from them."

All: *slam their markers down on the "Wangst" squares*
Demyx: Man, remember when life was this innocent and we could have Sues that had simple problems instead of authors throwing in dead families and rape for no reason? Good times.

"So that's way she was acting that way…." Riku said sadly.

Riku: I'm not one to downplay someone else's problems, but I think those last two years I spent coming to terms with the darkness and getting my body back are a bit sadder.

Sora was upset and said, "Man if I see that happen, then I'll knock them flat."

Sora: I'm still more concerned that someone put a freakin' gash in her shoulder!
Demyx: Forget it already, we have to be more concerned with her gold-digger problems.

Voiceover: They say they wouldn't ever treat Yakumo that way.

Riku and Kairi agreed so they went to find Yakumo. They found Yakumo outside talking to one of the boys. Or trying to get away from him.

"I said leave me alone." Yakumo shouted.

"Oh come on Princess you can't say that you're not happy to see me." The boy said.

Demyx: Is that a two-tailed talking fox in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

"Well I'm not so leave me alone."

The boy grabbed her right wrist,

Sora: Instead of her wrong wrist.
Demyx: Weak joke there.

"Come on Princess. What about all the good times we had?"

"You mean all the lies you told me." Yakumo glared.

"Lies? They weren't lies." He said laughing slightly.

Kairi: (as boy) MwahahaHAHAHA!

Yakumo rolled her eyes and tried to pull her wrist away, "Whatever believe what you want. Now let me go."

He tightened his grip and said, "No. Now come on."

Yakumo tried to pull away again but he held on tight.

Riku: He's grabbed her in the Designated Damsel in Distress Area! That fiend!

Then suddenly the grip was gone causing Yakumo to stumble back. Riku caught her and help her straighten up while Sora got in front of her.

"Hey who are you?" The boy asked.

"Leave the Princess alone."

Sora: (as self) We are NOT letting you take her to another castle!

He looked confused and said, "Oh you must be new here. Even so you must have heard about the Princess' Story from someone."

Riku: Really? Her tales of mild heartache are so tragic that it's common knowledge and worthy of capital letters?
Demyx: Y'know, even Princess Elise had real problems, what with the dead parents and having a friggin' demon sealed inside her.

Yakumo looked away and Sora said, "Yeah we heard the story but that doesn't change anything."

Sora: Why does Yakumo think we'd hate her when her main issue is how others use her royal lineage against her?
Demyx: Because drama.
Sora: Bu-
Demyx: DRAMA!

Yakumo looked surprised and Riku said, "It's not right the way you guys have been treating her. Now get out of here."

The boy looked upset and tried to get closer but Sora summoned his Keyblade. The boy looked surprised, back off, and turned away. He ran off and Yakumo sighed in relief.

Riku: (as Yakuno) You used his phobia of keys to your advantage, thank goodness.

"You ok Yakumo? He didn't hurt you did he?" Riku asked.

"No I'm alright. But ummm….Did you mean what you said?" Yakumo asked nervously.

Sora put away his Keyblade and said, "Of course we meant it. Just because you're the Princess doesn't mean we're going to treat you any differently."

Sora: (as self) One of my best friends is a princess, after all.
Kairi: You'd think that would be brought up in our conversations.

"All we want is to be your friends nothing more." Riku added.

"You see I told you they won't treat you that way." Kairi said.

Yakumo smiled and said, "I guess you're right. Thank you everyone."

Riku: She'll have to think up another tragic backstory quick or else Mary and Sue will deduct points.

Discovering the Power

The next day, Yakumo was doing something but she wasn't wearing her normal princess cloths.

Kairi: Was she wearing a paper bag?

She was wearing a gold shirt with a sliver fire symbol on the chest, blue jean pants, and white tennis shoes.

Demyx: *looking at bingo card* Darnit, no Anachronism square.

Yakumo was stacking barrels of hay up pretty high.

Riku: Apparently "doing something" and "stacking hay" are now synonyms.

Rukia watched as Yakumo worked stacking the hay higher and higher.

Demyx: (as Rukia) Work harder, slave! Unless you never want to see your pet canary again!

"Yakumo are you sure about this?" Rukia asked.

"Of Course I'm sure about this Rukia." Yakumo said pushing a barrel into front of Rukia.


"But what if you fail?"

"That's why the barrel is here. I can land on that." Yakumo explained going back to the stack.

Sora: But... the hay... softer...
Demyx: No Lack of Logic here either! This is the worst bingo card ever!

Voiceover: She climbs to the top of the haystack.

"Ok here I go." Yakumo said before she jumped.

Riku: The funeral was held on Wednesday.

Yakumo grabbed onto some rope that was there and swing higher. She two flips midair before straightening up. She landed on the ground but landed off balance. She fell back onto the barrel, some hay flew off it, and the sword fell out of her hand. Yakumo spit some hay out of her mouth before sitting up. Rukia just sighed and shook her head.

All: ...
Sora: That is the weirdest, most specific, never-going-to-happen-unless-you're-a-pirate-of-the-Caribbean sword training I've ever seen.

Yakumo started to brush the hay off when she heard, "You know you're going to need more air to pull off that move."

Demyx: 500 meters of air, to be specific. Without a parachute.

Yakumo looked up to see Sora, Riku, and Kairi standing nearby.

Kairi: Wondering what in all the worlds she was trying to accomplish.

Yakumo stood up continuing to brush the hay off, "Well I thought I'd try."

Demyx: (as Yakumo) There's still a chance the Olympics will put in a haystacking-gymnastic-fencing-barrel-landing event and I have to be ready for it!

Kairi walked over and pulled some hay out of her hair. Yakumo smiled in thanks and Rukia walked over to her.

Rukia was able to say something when Yakumo said, "Don't say anything."

Kairi: (as Rukia) Just because I’m able to say things doesn’t mean I was about to.

Rukia shut up and Sora asked, "Where did you learn swordsmanship?"

"Someone in the kingdom taught me how. At first they didn't want to but they soon gave in.

Sora: Wow, she forgot the name, home, and gender of her teacher. That's an impressive amount of vagueness there.

The only thing is all I have is this wooden sword." Yakumo said picking it up.

"Wooden Swords? These bring back memories." Sora said.

Kairi: Hard to believe that first game came out nearly fourteen years ago, isn't it? Seems like just yesterday.
Demyx: Ew, I feel all old now.

Voiceover: Then much summarizing of canon follows.

Yakumo smiled again and then heard something. 'Warrior of Light!' came a female's voice. Yakumo looked around and her friends looked at her.

"What's wrong Yakumo?" Riku asked.

Riku: (as self) Why have you stopped giving us the honour of your attention, Yakumo?

"Did you guys hear that?" Yakumo asked looking at them.

Sora asked, "Hear what?"

"That voice." Yakumo answered and they shook their heads.

Demyx: Before suddenly shouting "Gotcha!" and laughing over their prank.

Yakumo sighed and said, "Must be hearing things."

Then a flash of light came from above them and they covered their eyes.

Sora: (as Yakumo) Don't worry, everybody! We're just seeing things!

The light turned into an orb and floated in front of Yakumo. Yakumo was confused as the light passed right through her. They watched as it went to the side of the castle and stopped.

"What do we do?" Yakumo asked.

"I say we follow it." Sora suggested.

"Agreed." Riku said.

Demyx: Famous last words.

They got up and went over to the light. The orb went into the wall and revealed a door. Yakumo grabbed the handle and pushed open the door revealing a large white room.

Sora: Cool, we found a shortcut to the mansion in Twilight Town.
Kairi: She accepts the fact that a hidden door was in the castle wall very quickly.

Once they were inside, the door shut behind them. They looked ahead to see something up ahead.

Riku: Because looking ahead to see something parallel to us would be silly.

They walked over to it and saw that it was a sword stuck in stone.

"What's with this sword?" Sora asked.

Kairi: Obviously we've entered the Sword in the Stone themed world. Let's go find Wart so he can end the movie.

"I don't know. I don't even know what's going." Yakumo said.

The orb came back but this time it changed shape. It turned in a young woman wearing a gold dress and gold shoes. Her hair was long, brown, and braided back with gold ribbon. She held a white bow in her right hand and a silver arrow in her left.

Demyx: Glinda the Good Witch: Ass Kicking Edition.
Kairi: *presents swear jar*
Demyx: 'Ass' is in the Bible, I don't owe anything.
Kairi: I don't accept that excuse. Feed the jar.
Demyx: *pays*

She also had green eye and she smiled at Yakumo, "You are finally here."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Yakumo asked.

"All will be explained. But first pull the stone from the stone. If I'm right then the sword will come out of the stone." The woman explained.

Kairi: That's a nice twist. Instead of pulling the sword from the stone we have to pull the very stone itself out of its own matter and then the sword'll just fall out.

"And what if you're wrong?" Yakumo asked.

Demyx: (as woman) Then I say "Oopsy" and move on with my life like that never happened.

"I know that I'm not wrong. Now go." She said.

Riku: Go gentle into that good night.

Voiceover: Flame-shaped sword gets pulled out.

The woman appeared in front of Yakumo and smiled, "I knew it. You are the one."

Kairi: Yes! *mark'd*
Riku: (as woman) All right, now for the coin toss! Heads, you do something the author's thought up specifically for this world. Tails, you become the new Shepherd and travel the continent purifying hellions.
Sora: *looks down at card* Now that you mention it, Sorey could fill a lot of these squares too.

Yakumo sighed and said, "Ok started making sense here. Who are you and what are you talking about?"

"Alright. First my name was Vanessa. I'm the original fire goddess."

Sora: Even a ghostly goddess doesn't get to have a name as cool as Yakumo.

"The one spoke of in the story?" Yakumo asked surprised.

Vanessa nodded and explained, "Yes you see I've been looking for someone to take my powers and become the next fire goddess. But no one had been able to pull the sword out until you can Yakumo."

Demyx: That's what she said.
Sora: *innocently* Yeah she did, weren't you paying attention?
Demyx: ... You guys are no fun.

"How do you know my name?" Yakumo asked.

Vanessa smiled, "I've known you since you were a little girl Yakumo. I came to your parents telling them of your future…but I thought they would have told you all this by now."

"My parents knew? And they never told me?" Yakumo asked sadly.

Vanessa's smile faded, "Oh I see. Don't worry about it Yakumo."

"So how did you know that I would be the next Goddess?" Yakumo asked.

Kairi: She followed that ‘don’t worry’ order quickly.
Riku: (as Vanessa) Don't have reactionary emotions like normal human beings. That would ruin the bingo game.

"When you were born, I can sense the pure heart that you had in you. Over the years and no matter what happened to you, that heart stayed pure." Vanessa explained.

Demyx: BINGO!
(The cards are checked and Demyx is declared the winner.)
Demyx: Now what?
Kairi: We continue through the fic but without the fun side game.
Demyx: ...What a cruddy prize.

Yakumo nodded and said, "Ok I guess that makes sense."

Riku: Her Sueness is obvious even to herself.
Sora: It's different. I kind of like it.

"Don't worry about it. More things will become clear in time. Here take this to unlock your power." Vanessa said as a gold orb appeared in front of Yakumo.

Riku: (as Vanessa) If your heart stops, it's just a small side effect.

Yakumo held out her right hand and orb went into it. Moments later Yakumo started to glow and then the light surrounded her. Her cloth changed into a red dress that almost went to her knees and red high heel boots.

Kairi: She's been transformed into Kyouko Sakura!
Riku: Yakumo has been given the Cosplay Orb of legend!

Then Yakumo's back glow and a pair of fairy wing sprouted from her back.

Sora: NOOOO! That was the last square I needed! Why now? WHY NOW?
Demyx: *singing* Ai-yai-yai, I'm your little butterfly—

Voiceover: Vanessa explains Yakumo's new fire, flying, and healing powers.

Vanessa nodded and said, "And you will need the help of your friends to fully master your powers."

Sora: We're gonna be demoted to plot devices for her now, aren't we?

"What do you mean?" Sora asked for the first time.

"She must go with you two the other worlds to defeat the Heartless.

Sora: Worse than plot devices! We're her chauffeurs!

At least that's what I told your king." Vanessa said smiling.

"You know the King?" Riku asked.

Riku: He could have mentioned before we left "Oh, by the way, there's an elemental goddess hangin’ around, keep an eye out.”

"Who doesn't?

Kairi: Excellent point, to be honest. Mickey gets around a lot of places in the games.

I met him in Disney Castle telling him of what you needed to do. He asked if I could reveal who it was that would help you but I told him I could not."

"Why?" Kairi asked.

"I had heard about the Keyblade Master sometime ago when they first can here. After I died, they seemed to just disappear. But then two years ago I heard about three new Keyblade Masters coming to beat the darkness.

Sora: Um, no, that's not quite right. Two years ago there was just me. Kairi only got her Keyblade recently and Riku... um... well...
Demyx: (to Riku) What your best friend's trying to say is that you were an asshat back then.
Riku: *sadface*
Demyx: *pays swear jar* Worth it.
(Sora and Kairi give hugs and the session continues on after Riku cheers up.)

I thought not telling him Yakumo's name, it would give you a reason to come to the castle to find Yakumo." Vanessa explained.

Kairi: But... that doesn't... Wha...
Riku: *pats shoulder* Let the logic pass on by. It's going to a happier place.

"So you planned the meeting?" Yakumo asked.

Demyx: If by "plan" you mean "pure dumb luck", sure.

"Yes though the boy problem was an…unexpected factor. But everything turned out alright." Vanessa said.

Yakumo sighed and the goddess form disappeared returning her normal cloths. Vanessa smiled and disappeared.

Sora: (as Vanessa) *rushed* Oh-by-the-way-I-have-a-huge-debt-over-at-the-karaoke-bar-can-you-pay-that-back-for-me-kthx-bye!

"Vanessa?" Yakumo asked.

"Don't worry Yakumo. Now that you're the fire goddess, I'll be with you just in case you need me. All you need to do is focus on the light in your heart and I'll come." Said Vanessa's voice.

Demyx: *sits up straight* Wha— femmeslash?! I NEVER get to read femmeslash! This fic just turned AWESOME!

Yakumo sighed and looked at the sword.

"Come guys let's go." Yakumo said.

Demyx: (as Yakumo) I gotta try this "calling Vanessa" thing right away. Don't bother me for a few hours.
Kairi: *seriously considering the inclusion of another jar*

Voiceover: They explain everything to the other people of the castle before the trio of travelers plus one get on the Gummi Ship.

Yakumo smiled and they boarded. Yakumo let out a low whistle when she saw how big the inside was.

"Hey watch it!" Shouted a small voice.

Yakumo looked around, then looked down, and saw two chimp mucks at her feet.

Kairi: Since when were dirty chimpanzees allowed in the Gummi Ship?
Sora: Since forever! Have you ever met a chimpanzee that you didn't love?

"Oh sorry." Yakumo said backing up a little.

Yakumo bent down in front of them and Sora explained, "That's Chip and Dale. They're the Mechanics of the Gummi Ship.

Riku: Who do their job from Disney Castle, so if we crash while they're here, just give up any thoughts of living.

"Hi nice to meet you." They said.

Yakumo smiled and walked around them. They went to the cockpit and Yakumo only saw three chairs. Riku pressed a button and a fourth chair appeared.

Demyx: (as Riku, to Yakumo) We stayed up all night installing that just for you!

Voiceover: Jimminy Cricket is met and they all set off through the stars, to find new adventures on new worlds! But before that, a break is in order.
Demyx: Finally! *stands up* I'm gonna go buy some candy. Maybe sugar will make this more exciting.
Riku: ...Why was King Mickey tagged in any of that?

[to be continued...]
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