thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Kingdom Hearts Story of Evil
Author: WolfHearts14
Rating: Two would normally cover the beige prose, improper punctuation, and bland emotions, but the last chapter alone warrants another point to cover plain ol’ nonsense.
Full Name (including any titles): Zexia (Member #XV, the Rose of the Prince)
Full Species(es): Royal twins, then Nobodies… or replicas… or reborn souls… or something.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Slate-blue, later long black (then back again).
Eye Color (include adjectives): Sapphire-blue, later black (and back again!).
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: The ability to change yourself through the POWER OF SONG sure counts.
Special Possessions (if any): A horse, a jewel-encrusted dagger, and the most over-the-top Nobody weapon I think I’ll ever see. There’s no concise way to describe that thing.

Origin: Reincarnated Vocaloids.
Connections To Canon Characters: Drank a magical potion. No, really, that’s this fic’s excuse for tying this into game continuity.
Special Abilities: Poor memory, it seems.
Other Annoying Traits: The usual fangirl treatment of Zexion (meaning they make him into whatever they want), aside from that everyone’s too boring to be annoying. Even when inside character's thoughts they don't have much personality or insight.

I Say/Notes: Technically speaking this is a crossover but you don’t need to know the original content to follow this story. (Actually, knowing the original somehow causes this all to make less sense.) You may miss a few Vocaloid references but aside from that this fic has plenty of its own original silliness to still be entertaining.

In which a fic starts okay but then ends up bonkers. OH WELL! )
thelectureroom: Moogle Manhunter! (moogle manhunter)
Title: Heart of a Lantern
Author: Aslan's Provident Child
Rating: Rated for bleh writing, Mary Sueness, and just all around craziness.

Full Name (including any titles): Chava, Ashe.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of Marysueus Maximus (super sue) and Fanus Girlus (fangirl)
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None given
Special Possessions (if any): Kanabos, claymores, and lantern rings for all!

Origin: A very small and well hidden area of Inept Crossings
Connections To Canon Characters: Fangirls of them.
Special Abilities: Love! Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove! Oh, and being able to live inside a video game (and possibly comic book?). But mostly it's love.
Other Annoying Traits: Several very questionable uses of capitals.

I Say/Notes: Big thanks once again to reynald451 for being so patient and awesome during this co-sporking. Enjoy the grand finale!

Part One.
Part Two.
Part Three.
Part Four.
Part Five.

Green Sporker's Light! )
thelectureroom: Moogle Manhunter! (moogle manhunter)
Title: Heart of a Lantern
Author: Aslan's Provident Child
Rating:
Rated for bleh writing, Mary Sueness, and just all around craziness.

Full Name (including any titles): Chava, Ashe.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of Marysueus Maximus (super sue) and Fanus Girlus (fangirl)
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None given
Special Possessions (if any): Kanabos, claymores, and lantern rings for all!

Origin: A very small and well hidden area of Inept Crossings
Connections To Canon Characters: Fangirls of them.
Special Abilities: Love! Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove! Oh, and being able to live inside a video game (and possibly comic book?). But mostly it's love.
Other Annoying Traits: Several very questionable uses of capitals.

I Say/Notes: Part One.
Part Two.
Part Three.
Part Four.

Beware our power... )
thelectureroom: Moogle Manhunter! (moogle manhunter)
Title: Heart of a Lantern
Author: Aslan's Provident Child
Rating: Rated for bleh writing, Mary Sueness, and just all around craziness.

Full Name (including any titles): Chava, Ashe.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of Marysueus Maximus (super sue) and Fanus Girlus (fangirl)
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None given
Special Possessions (if any): Kanabos, claymores, and lantern rings for all!

Origin: A very small and well hidden area of Inept Crossings
Connections To Canon Characters: Fangirls of them.
Special Abilities: Love! Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove! Oh, and being able to live inside a video game (and possibly comic book?). But mostly it's love.
Other Annoying Traits: Several very questionable uses of capitals.

I Say/Notes:
Sorry for the delay, HTML issues. Hope you still enjoy the spork! From here on out, we have started showing where line breaks on FF.net were with "PLACING THIS HERE TO MARK THE LINE THAT USED TO BE HERE".

Part One.
Part Two.
Part Three.

Let those who worship badfic's might... )
thelectureroom: Moogle Manhunter! (moogle manhunter)
Title: Heart of a Lantern
Author: Aslan's Provident Child
Rating: Rated for bleh writing, Mary Sueness, and just all around craziness.

Full Name (including any titles): Chava, Ashe.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of Marysueus Maximus (super sue) and Fanus Girlus (fangirl)
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None given
Special Possessions (if any): Kanabos, claymores, and lantern rings for all!

Origin: A very small and well hidden area of Inept Crossings
Connections To Canon Characters: Fangirls of them.
Special Abilities: Love! Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove! Oh, and being able to live inside a video game (and possibly comic book?). But mostly it's love.
Other Annoying Traits: Several very questionable uses of capitals.

I Say/Notes: Part One.

In Out-of-Character Night... )
thelectureroom: Moogle Manhunter! (moogle manhunter)
Title: Heart of a Lantern
Author: Aslan's Provident Child
Rating: Rated for bleh writing, Mary Sueness, and just all around craziness.

Full Name (including any titles): Chava, Ashe.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of Marysueus Maximus (super sue) and Fanus Girlus (fangirl)
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None given
Special Possessions (if any): Kanabos, claymores, and lantern rings for all!

Origin: A very small and well-hidden area of Inept Crossings.
Connections To Canon Characters: Fangirls of them.
Special Abilities: Love! Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove! Oh, and being able to live inside a video game (and possibly comic book?). But mostly it's love.
Other Annoying Traits: Several very questionable uses of capitals.

I Say/Notes:
This is Reynard531 co-sporking with thelectureroom. Let me say that it’s great to spork something for once. I never thought I would but this particular fic struck a nerve with me as a Green Lantern fan. As it stands, this is a rare fic, as there are very few KH crossovers with DC properties, good or bad. This was actually the only story in its category. So please enjoy this collaborated spork as we tear into this thing.

In In-Character Day... )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Starting Over: Everything's Not Lost
Author: KtheHABIT
Rating: covers all the bad grammar, fail!characters, and general sillyness of this fic.
Full Name (including any titles): Sora Strife. Yup.
Full Species(es): Teenagers in badfic. Do we need to say more?
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blonde spikes, large brown spikes, jet black spikes, and glistening red hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "blue with hints of purple", "pure gold", and "so sad, so cold, and closed-off".
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Seifer has a single scar on his face.
Special Possessions (if any): Guitars, PTSD, and the lowest alcohol tolerance level ever seen.

Origin: Doodled during the Driving Safety seminar in school.
Connections To Canon Characters: Spiked their juice with melodrama.
Special Abilities: Singing, eating, substance abusing.
Other Annoying Traits: Terrible parenting, the idea that a and u are interchaneable vowels and don't matter for character names.

I Say/Notes: Have you ever read a fic that started out "okay", then turned "silly", then "hilarious" then "stupid" then "boring"? This is one of those fics. (And all of this happens within the span of three chapters.)

Warning: This story contains a scene of attempted rape.

In which we find the most hilarious car crash scene ever witnessed )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Final part will be up soon.

Warning: This part contains a scene of sexual assault. Also, looking back over it our jokes unfortunately dip into victim blaming and I sincerely apologize for the flippancy on this issue.

**This MST contains spoilers for Birth By Sleep at various intervals!**
In which things go from bad to worse )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: He’s Gone Away
Author: NormaJean Beausoleil
Rating: It would have been only two for having the usual high-school/college AU cliches with a dash of slow pacing. And then Aqua shows up.

Full Name (including any titles): Ventus/Ven Cameo, given the nickname "Jailbait" by Aqua. Terra Fair, Aqua [REDACTED], Demyx [REDACTED], and Zexion [REDACTED] are also the main characters, with various cameos throughout.
Full Species(es): Two-dimensional humans.
Hair Colour (include adjectives): More or less canon, with no extremely odd descriptions.
Eye Colour (include adjectives): Terra has "sylvan brown eyes", everyone else is normal.
Unusual Markings/Colourations/Physical Features: Perfectly caked on makeup.
Special Possessions (if any): Demyx and Zexion kept clothes from middle school for plot convenience, Ven has a cellphone that is never used, hundreds of DVDs, bottled water.

Origin: Read the first few chapters of 'Can’t Get There From Here' and then went to watch a marathon of FRIENDS.
Connections To Canon Characters: Possessed their bodies and pretended to be them, some more successfully than others.
Special Abilities: Everyone has the ability to ignore common sense; they can all sit around their apartment without worrying about bills, jobs, studying, and that silly little thing called the real world.
Other Annoying Traits: Ven continuously talks about how he misses his family and yet does everything he can to avoid contacting them, not helped by how they don’t do a single thing to find him; Demyx gives everyone one syllable nicknames and can’t stop glomping people; Aqua keeps getting drunk and trying to have sex with anyone in her line of sight; no one leaves the apartment.

I Say/Notes: To give credit where credit is due, this is not that bad. The writing's okay, premise is fine if a bit watered down as the fic continues, there's nothing horribly offensive in it. But, let us repeat, then Aqua shows up. Read on to find out why she's a rating all its own.

**This MST contains spoilers for Birth By Sleep at various intervals!**

In which things are sexy or notsosexy )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: He’s Gone Away
Author: NormaJean Beausoleil
Rating: It would have been only two for having the usual high-school/college AU cliches with a dash of slow pacing. And then Aqua shows up.

Full Name (including any titles): Ventus/Ven Cameo, given the nickname "Jailbait" by Aqua. Terra Fair, Aqua [REDACTED], Demyx [REDACTED], and Zexion [REDACTED] are also the main characters, with various cameos throughout.
Full Species(es): Two-dimensional humans.
Hair Colour (include adjectives): More or less canon, with no extremely odd descriptions.
Eye Colour (include adjectives): Terra has "sylvan brown eyes", everyone else is normal.
Unusual Markings/Colourations/Physical Features: Perfectly caked on makeup.
Special Possessions (if any): Demyx and Zexion kept clothes from middle school for plot convenience, Ven has a cellphone that is never used, hundreds of DVDs, bottled water.

Origin: Read the first few chapters of 'Can’t Get There From Here' and then went to watch a marathon of FRIENDS.
Connections To Canon Characters: Possessed their bodies and pretended to be them, some more successfully than others.
Special Abilities: Everyone has the ability to ignore common sense. Terra apparently has telekinetic powers on woobies. They can all sit around their apartment without worrying about bills, jobs, studying, and that silly little thing called the real world.
Other Annoying Traits: Ven continuously talks about how he misses his family and yet does everything he can to avoid contacting them, not helped by how they don’t do a single thing to find him; Demyx gives everyone one syllable nicknames and can’t stop glomping people; Aqua keeps getting drunk and trying to have sex with anyone in her line of sight; no one leaves the apartment.

I Say/Notes: To give credit where credit is due, this is not that bad. The writing's okay, premise is fine if a bit watered down as the fic continues, there's nothing horribly offensive in it. But, let us repeat, then Aqua shows up. Read on to find out why she's a rating all its own.

**This MST contains spoilers for Birth By Sleep at various intervals!**

In which Aqua drinks lots and lots of soda )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: He’s Gone Away
Author: NormaJean Beausoleil
Rating: It would have been only two for having the usual high-school/college AU cliches with a dash of slow pacing. And then Aqua shows up.

Full Name (including any titles): Ventus/Ven Cameo, given the nickname "Jailbait" by Aqua. Terra Fair, Aqua [REDACTED], Demyx [REDACTED], and Zexion [REDACTED] are also the main characters, with various cameos throughout.
Full Species(es): Two-dimensional humans.
Hair Colour (include adjectives): More or less canon, with no extremely odd descriptions.
Eye Colour (include adjectives): Terra has "sylvan brown eyes", everyone else is normal.
Unusual Markings/Colourations/Physical Features: Perfectly caked on makeup.
Special Possessions (if any): Demyx and Zexion kept clothes from middle school for plot convenience, Ven has a cellphone that is never used, hundreds of DVDs, bottled water.

Origin: Read the first few chapters of 'Can’t Get There From Here' and then went to watch a marathon of FRIENDS.
Connections To Canon Characters: Possessed their bodies and pretended to be them, some more successfully than others.
Special Abilities: Everyone has the ability to ignore common sense; they can all sit around their apartment without worrying about bills, jobs, studying, and that silly little thing called the real world.
Other Annoying Traits: Ven continuously talks about how he misses his family and yet does everything he can to avoid contacting them, not helped by how they don’t do a single thing to find him; Demyx gives everyone one syllable nicknames and can’t stop glomping people; Aqua keeps getting drunk and trying to have sex with anyone in her line of sight; no one leaves the apartment.

I Say/Notes: To give credit where credit is due, this is not that bad. The writing's okay, premise is fine if a bit watered down as the fic continues, there's nothing horribly offensive in it. But, let us repeat, then Aqua shows up. Read on to find out why she's a rating all its own.

**This MST contains spoilers for Birth By Sleep at various intervals!**

In which our premise begins )

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