thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Meeting the Princess
Author: Michigo Sinister
Rating: A lot to be desired in the writing, but overall it’s fine.
Full Name (including any titles): Princess Yakumo.
Full Species(es): Reincarnated goddess, I guess?
Hair Color (include adjectives): Long red hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Brown.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Usually none, but can activate fairy wings mode.
Special Possessions (if any): Magical animal sidekick that does indeed become a possession at one point.

Origin: Lots of all-nighters spent marathoning favourite anime series.
Connections To Canon Characters: Becomes friends. We’re okay with that.
Special Abilities: Fire, flying, healing.
Other Annoying Traits: Learning new abilities instantaneously.

I Say/Notes: This fic is like a litmus test for badfics—Mary Sue clichés, crossovers with author’s favourite shows, stilted prose— but it’s too innocent to get annoyed at. I want to hug this fic, it’s like a precious child.
In which we enjoy innocent badfic )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: The Nobody Virus
Author: hajikurazaki19 and DeadShut
Rating: One for the terrible-and-we-mean-Terrible writing, one for the horribly boring characters, one for the sexism (OMIGAWD THE SEXISM), one for the needless and graphic violence, and one just to let you know that this entire fic is devoid of any entertainment value whatsoever. You have been warned.
Full Name (including any titles): Ryan “Roxas” Hall, Sora O’Reily. (There's a million more, but they're not worth remembering.)
Full Species(es): Scum of the earth.
Hair Color (include adjectives): The quick summary for this part is to say that sometimes hair is same as canon, sometimes it’s something entirely different. There is never any good reason for either.
Eye Color (include adjectives): The most memorable colour is green. Why is it memorable? You’ll see.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: *shrugs*
Special Possessions (if any): Sora has a fancy stick masquerading as the Keyblade in one pocket and seemingly an Idiot Ball in the other, because incompetence like his has to be in tangible form. The story itself also has a weird love/hate relationship with Italy.

Origin: Frank Miller’s Guide to Fanfiction (with a foreword by Alan Moore)
Connections To Canon Characters: Stole their names. And then killed them to hide the evidence.
Special Abilities: Hallucinating others into believing anyone's had character development or changed in any way whatsoever.
Other Annoying Traits: Let’s save you some time and compress the answer down to “Everything not mentioned above.”

I Say/Notes: We're at the second-to-last part, so let's make sure to give the most useless subplot in all of fiction's history its deserved spotlight.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine
Part Ten
Part Eleven
Part Twelve
Part Thirteen
The worst muse suggests: Are you sure it's clear what happened last chapter? Maybe you should stage a conversation where your protagonist can recap it in detail. )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Whisked Away
Author: DanceHaleyDance
Rating: It's more of an annoying fic rather than a bad fic.
Full Name (including any titles): Roxy/Roxy Dearest, Axy-Waxy, Dem Dem, Zexi, Marly Darling, Larxy, Xiggy Bear. (Yes, these are used in all seriousness.)
Full Species(es): Ukes and semes overload.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blonde (although it's more of a noun than an adjective), red, mullet-haired, feathery pink always feathery pink.
Eye Color (include adjectives): *counter explodes from overuse*
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None worth noting.
Special Possessions (if any): Boyfriends.

Origin: Any City, USA! Check out our tourist booth!
Connections To Canon Characters: A tenuous string.
Special Abilities: Usually we list special powers as a joke. But there actual special powers in this fic. It's not near as interesting as it sounds.
Other Annoying Traits: ARGH WHY ARE THEY ALL SO STUPID?

I Say/Notes: There is probably a good story in here somewhere, but it's covered up by every pet peeve I've ever had. Overload of pairings? Check. Cutesy Roxas whose only purpose is to have the audience go "Aww" over everything he does? Check. Having characters with very little relation in canon being blood relatives now? Check. Trying to pass off controlling and dominating boyfriends as a loving, equal relationship? Check. Moronic characters who manage to ignore their only goal? Check. Obnoxiously inserted humour that yanks any emotional resonance from the story? Check. (We've edited most of this out.) Having absolutely nothing happen for entire chapters at a time? Big fat check!

In which Marluxia uses the Force. And in which Mog renders himself unconscious. )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Whisked Away
Author: DanceHaleyDance
Rating: It's more of an annoying fic rather than a bad fic.
Full Name (including any titles): Roxy/Roxy Dearest, Axy-Waxy, Dem Dem, Zexi, Marly Darling, Larxy, Xiggy Bear. (Yes, these are used in all seriousness.)
Full Species(es): Ukes and semes overload.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blonde (although it's more of a noun than an adjective), red, mullet-haired, feathery pink always feathery pink.
Eye Color (include adjectives): *counter explodes from overuse*
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None worth noting.
Special Possessions (if any): Boyfriends.

Origin: Any City, USA! Check out our tourist booth!
Connections To Canon Characters: A tenuous string.
Special Abilities: Usually we list special powers as a joke. But there actual special powers in this fic. It's not near as interesting as it sounds.
Other Annoying Traits: ARGH WHY ARE THEY ALL SO STUPID?

I Say/Notes: There is probably a good story in here somewhere, but it's covered up by every pet peeve I've ever had. Overload of pairings? Check. Cutesy Roxas whose only purpose is to have the audience go "Aww" over everything he does? Check. Having characters with very little relation in canon being blood relatives now? Check. Trying to pass off controlling and dominating boyfriends as a loving, equal relationship? Check. Moronic characters who manage to ignore their only goal? Check. Obnoxiously inserted humour that yanks any emotional resonance from the story? Check. (We've edited most of this out.) Having absolutely nothing happen for entire chapters at a time? Big fat check!

In which Roxas tries to runaway but comes back because he's not allowed to cross the street. )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Whisked Away
Author: DanceHaleyDance
Rating: It's more of an annoying fic rather than a bad fic.
Full Name (including any titles): Roxy/Roxy Dearest, Axy-Waxy, Dem Dem, Zexi, Marly Darling, Larxy, Xiggy Bear. (Yes, these are used in all seriousness.)
Full Species(es): Ukes and semes overload.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blonde (although it's more of a noun than an adjective), red, mullet-haired, feathery pink always feathery pink.
Eye Color (include adjectives): *counter explodes from overuse*
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None worth noting.
Special Possessions (if any): Boyfriends.

Origin: Any City, USA! Check out our tourist booth!
Connections To Canon Characters: A tenuous string.
Special Abilities: Usually we list special powers as a joke. But there actual special powers in this fic. It's not near as interesting as it sounds.
Other Annoying Traits: ARGH WHY ARE THEY ALL SO STUPID?

I Say/Notes: There is probably a good story in here somewhere, but it's covered up by every pet peeve I've ever had. Overload of pairings? Check. Cutesy Roxas whose only purpose is to have the audience go "Aww" over everything he does? Check. Having characters with very little relation in canon being blood relatives now? Check. Trying to pass off controlling and dominating boyfriends as a loving, equal relationship? Check. Moronic characters who manage to ignore their only goal? Check. Obnoxiously inserted humour that yanks any emotional resonance from the story? Check. (We've edited most of this out.) Having absolutely nothing happen for entire chapters at a time? Big fat check!

In which Xemnas is misogynistic. This is strangely the only thing to make sense. )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Whisked Away
Author: DanceHaleyDance
Rating: It's more of an annoying fic rather than a bad fic.
Full Name (including any titles): Roxy/Roxy Dearest, Axy-Waxy, Dem Dem, Zexi, Marly Darling, Larxy, Xiggy Bear. (Yes, these are used in all seriousness.)
Full Species(es): Ukes and semes overload.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blonde (althought it's more of a noun than an adjective), red, mullet-haired, feathery pink always feathery pink.
Eye Color (include adjectives): *counter explodes from overuse*
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None worth noting.
Special Possessions (if any): Boyfriends.

Origin: Any City, USA! Check out our tourist booth!
Connections To Canon Characters: A tenuous string.
Special Abilities: Usually we list special powers as a joke. But there actual special powers in this fic. It's not near as interesting as it sounds.
Other Annoying Traits: ARGH WHY ARE THEY ALL SO STUPID?

I Say/Notes: There is probably a good story in here somewhere, but it's covered up by every pet peeve I've ever had. Overload of pairings? Check. Cutesy Roxas whose only purpose is to have the audience go "Aww" over everything he does? Check. Having characters with very little relation in canon being blood relatives now? Check. Trying to pass off controlling and dominating boyfriends as a loving, equal relationship? Check. Moronic characters who manage to ignore their only goal? Check. Obnoxiously inserted humour that yanks any emotional resonance from the story? Check. (We've edited most of this out.) Having absolutely nothing happen for entire chapters at a time? Big fat check!

In which Sora is here just to keep me happy. )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Starting Over: Everything's Not Lost
Author: KtheHABIT
Rating: covers all the bad grammar, fail!characters, and general sillyness of this fic.
Full Name (including any titles): Sora Strife. Yup.
Full Species(es): Teenagers in badfic. Do we need to say more?
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blonde spikes, large brown spikes, jet black spikes, and glistening red hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "blue with hints of purple", "pure gold", and "so sad, so cold, and closed-off".
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Seifer has a single scar on his face.
Special Possessions (if any): Guitars, PTSD, and the lowest alcohol tolerance level ever seen.

Origin: Doodled during the Driving Safety seminar in school.
Connections To Canon Characters: Spiked their juice with melodrama.
Special Abilities: Singing, eating, substance abusing.
Other Annoying Traits: Terrible parenting, the idea that a and u are interchaneable vowels and don't matter for character names.

I Say/Notes: Have you ever read a fic that started out "okay", then turned "silly", then "hilarious" then "stupid" then "boring"? This is one of those fics. (And all of this happens within the span of three chapters.)

Warning: This story contains a scene of attempted rape.

In which we find the most hilarious car crash scene ever witnessed )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Final part will be up soon.

Warning: This part contains a scene of sexual assault. Also, looking back over it our jokes unfortunately dip into victim blaming and I sincerely apologize for the flippancy on this issue.

**This MST contains spoilers for Birth By Sleep at various intervals!**
In which things go from bad to worse )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: He’s Gone Away
Author: NormaJean Beausoleil
Rating: It would have been only two for having the usual high-school/college AU cliches with a dash of slow pacing. And then Aqua shows up.

Full Name (including any titles): Ventus/Ven Cameo, given the nickname "Jailbait" by Aqua. Terra Fair, Aqua [REDACTED], Demyx [REDACTED], and Zexion [REDACTED] are also the main characters, with various cameos throughout.
Full Species(es): Two-dimensional humans.
Hair Colour (include adjectives): More or less canon, with no extremely odd descriptions.
Eye Colour (include adjectives): Terra has "sylvan brown eyes", everyone else is normal.
Unusual Markings/Colourations/Physical Features: Perfectly caked on makeup.
Special Possessions (if any): Demyx and Zexion kept clothes from middle school for plot convenience, Ven has a cellphone that is never used, hundreds of DVDs, bottled water.

Origin: Read the first few chapters of 'Can’t Get There From Here' and then went to watch a marathon of FRIENDS.
Connections To Canon Characters: Possessed their bodies and pretended to be them, some more successfully than others.
Special Abilities: Everyone has the ability to ignore common sense; they can all sit around their apartment without worrying about bills, jobs, studying, and that silly little thing called the real world.
Other Annoying Traits: Ven continuously talks about how he misses his family and yet does everything he can to avoid contacting them, not helped by how they don’t do a single thing to find him; Demyx gives everyone one syllable nicknames and can’t stop glomping people; Aqua keeps getting drunk and trying to have sex with anyone in her line of sight; no one leaves the apartment.

I Say/Notes: To give credit where credit is due, this is not that bad. The writing's okay, premise is fine if a bit watered down as the fic continues, there's nothing horribly offensive in it. But, let us repeat, then Aqua shows up. Read on to find out why she's a rating all its own.

**This MST contains spoilers for Birth By Sleep at various intervals!**

In which things are sexy or notsosexy )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: He’s Gone Away
Author: NormaJean Beausoleil
Rating: It would have been only two for having the usual high-school/college AU cliches with a dash of slow pacing. And then Aqua shows up.

Full Name (including any titles): Ventus/Ven Cameo, given the nickname "Jailbait" by Aqua. Terra Fair, Aqua [REDACTED], Demyx [REDACTED], and Zexion [REDACTED] are also the main characters, with various cameos throughout.
Full Species(es): Two-dimensional humans.
Hair Colour (include adjectives): More or less canon, with no extremely odd descriptions.
Eye Colour (include adjectives): Terra has "sylvan brown eyes", everyone else is normal.
Unusual Markings/Colourations/Physical Features: Perfectly caked on makeup.
Special Possessions (if any): Demyx and Zexion kept clothes from middle school for plot convenience, Ven has a cellphone that is never used, hundreds of DVDs, bottled water.

Origin: Read the first few chapters of 'Can’t Get There From Here' and then went to watch a marathon of FRIENDS.
Connections To Canon Characters: Possessed their bodies and pretended to be them, some more successfully than others.
Special Abilities: Everyone has the ability to ignore common sense. Terra apparently has telekinetic powers on woobies. They can all sit around their apartment without worrying about bills, jobs, studying, and that silly little thing called the real world.
Other Annoying Traits: Ven continuously talks about how he misses his family and yet does everything he can to avoid contacting them, not helped by how they don’t do a single thing to find him; Demyx gives everyone one syllable nicknames and can’t stop glomping people; Aqua keeps getting drunk and trying to have sex with anyone in her line of sight; no one leaves the apartment.

I Say/Notes: To give credit where credit is due, this is not that bad. The writing's okay, premise is fine if a bit watered down as the fic continues, there's nothing horribly offensive in it. But, let us repeat, then Aqua shows up. Read on to find out why she's a rating all its own.

**This MST contains spoilers for Birth By Sleep at various intervals!**

In which Aqua drinks lots and lots of soda )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: He’s Gone Away
Author: NormaJean Beausoleil
Rating: It would have been only two for having the usual high-school/college AU cliches with a dash of slow pacing. And then Aqua shows up.

Full Name (including any titles): Ventus/Ven Cameo, given the nickname "Jailbait" by Aqua. Terra Fair, Aqua [REDACTED], Demyx [REDACTED], and Zexion [REDACTED] are also the main characters, with various cameos throughout.
Full Species(es): Two-dimensional humans.
Hair Colour (include adjectives): More or less canon, with no extremely odd descriptions.
Eye Colour (include adjectives): Terra has "sylvan brown eyes", everyone else is normal.
Unusual Markings/Colourations/Physical Features: Perfectly caked on makeup.
Special Possessions (if any): Demyx and Zexion kept clothes from middle school for plot convenience, Ven has a cellphone that is never used, hundreds of DVDs, bottled water.

Origin: Read the first few chapters of 'Can’t Get There From Here' and then went to watch a marathon of FRIENDS.
Connections To Canon Characters: Possessed their bodies and pretended to be them, some more successfully than others.
Special Abilities: Everyone has the ability to ignore common sense; they can all sit around their apartment without worrying about bills, jobs, studying, and that silly little thing called the real world.
Other Annoying Traits: Ven continuously talks about how he misses his family and yet does everything he can to avoid contacting them, not helped by how they don’t do a single thing to find him; Demyx gives everyone one syllable nicknames and can’t stop glomping people; Aqua keeps getting drunk and trying to have sex with anyone in her line of sight; no one leaves the apartment.

I Say/Notes: To give credit where credit is due, this is not that bad. The writing's okay, premise is fine if a bit watered down as the fic continues, there's nothing horribly offensive in it. But, let us repeat, then Aqua shows up. Read on to find out why she's a rating all its own.

**This MST contains spoilers for Birth By Sleep at various intervals!**

In which our premise begins )

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