thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: The Nobody Virus
Author: hajikurazaki19 and DeadShut
Rating: One for the terrible-and-we-mean-Terrible writing, one for the horribly boring characters, one for the sexism (OMIGAWD THE SEXISM), one for the needless and graphic violence, and one just to let you know that this entire fic is devoid of any entertainment value whatsoever. You have been warned.
Full Name (including any titles): Ryan “Roxas” Hall, Sora O’Reily. (There's a million more, but they're not worth remembering.)
Full Species(es): Scum of the earth.
Hair Color (include adjectives): The quick summary for this part is to say that sometimes hair is same as canon, sometimes it’s something entirely different. There is never any good reason for either.
Eye Color (include adjectives): The most memorable colour is green. Why is it memorable? You’ll see.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: *shrugs*
Special Possessions (if any): Sora has a fancy stick masquerading as the Keyblade in one pocket and seemingly an Idiot Ball in the other, because incompetence like his has to be in tangible form. The story itself also has a weird love/hate relationship with Italy.

Origin: Frank Miller’s Guide to Fanfiction (with a foreword by Alan Moore)
Connections To Canon Characters: Stole their names. And then killed them to hide the evidence.
Special Abilities: Hallucinating others into believing anyone's had character development or changed in any way whatsoever.
Other Annoying Traits: Let’s save you some time and compress the answer down to “Everything not mentioned above.”

I Say/Notes: And here it finally is, one of the first fics we ever lined up when starting this blog. Definitely one of the dreariest and narcissistic stories we've had the displeasure of reading and most definitely what put the 'lecture' in 'Lecture Room'. Imagine, if you will, if someone took all the convoluted storylines, unanswered plot threads, and retcons of the KH games, shoved it through a syphon that sucked out all the charm and endearing characters, and sprinkled a shallow examination of world problems on top. That's this fic and it's as much as a mess as you'd expect.

Generalized warning: this fic contains descriptions of violence and blood, gendered and homophobic slurs, as well as plenty of misogynist content we'll specifically warn for in the future parts (before we started cutting out those scenes entirely because we literally had nothing to say to them anymore).

The worst muse suggests: If you make the kid the Chosen Hero, you can totally bypass any other character development! )
thelectureroom: for a special occasion! (halloween mog)
Title: The Vampire’s Target
Author: Skelli W
Rating: The world-building is weak, but that's about the worst of it.

Full Name (including any titles): Vampire prince and princess (later queen) Hakirna, surnames like Gremik and Breaks, also a girl named Hazel.
Full Species(es): VAMPIYAS! Maybe. The details are a bit fuzzy.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Green pigtails.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Electric blue and OMG GREEN!
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: A vampire seal that daylights as an awesome tattoo.
Special Possessions (if any): A whole arsenal of monster hunting items that will be used all of once before they're forgotten. Oh yeah, and chicken suit. Don't ask.

Origin: We'd assume inspiration from lots of vampire themed movies or anime. We are sadly lacking in references for this one.
Connections To Canon Characters: Filled out a Halloween themed Mad Libs.
Special Abilities: Keyblades (somehow).
Other Annoying Traits: Not wanting to move to Venezuela apparently.

I Say/Notes: Happy New Year, everyone! We hope 2015 brings your happiness and good fics. Or at the very least naïve, harmless ones like this.

There’s a special something happening in the Lecture Room soon…

In which events somehow manage to make even less sense than before. It’s a fitting end. )
thelectureroom: for a special occasion! (halloween mog)
Title: The Vampire’s Target
Author: Skelli W
Rating: The world-building is weak, but that's about the worst of it.

Full Name (including any titles): Vampire prince and princess (later queen) Hakirna, surnames like Gremik and Breaks, also a girl named Hazel.
Full Species(es): VAMPIYAS! Maybe. The details are a bit fuzzy.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Green pigtails.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Electric blue and OMG GREEN!
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: A vampire seal that daylights as an awesome tattoo.
Special Possessions (if any): A whole arsenal of monster hunting items that will be used all of once before they're forgotten. Oh yeah, and chicken suit. Don't ask.

Origin: We'd assume inspiration from lots of vampire themed movies or anime. We are sadly lacking in references for this one.
Connections To Canon Characters: Filled out a Halloween themed Mad Libs.
Special Abilities: Keyblades (somehow).
Other Annoying Traits: Not wanting to move to Venezuela apparently.

I Say/Notes: Happy New Year, everyone! We hope 2015 brings your happiness and good fics. Or at the very least naïve, harmless ones like this.

Content warning: Talk of suicide in this part. It’s brief, but I was genuinely annoyed to see this topic used so abruptly in a story that didn’t warrant it, so I feel a warning is needed.

In which some vampires finally do vampire things in this vampire story. Also, MERMAIDS! )
thelectureroom: for a special occasion! (halloween mog)
Title: The Vampire’s Target
Author: Skelli W
Rating: The world-building is weak, but that's about the worst of it.

Full Name (including any titles): Vampire prince and princess (later queen) Hakirna, surnames like Gremik and Breaks, also a girl named Hazel.
Full Species(es): VAMPIYAS! Maybe. The details are a bit fuzzy.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Green pigtails.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Electric blue and OMG GREEN!
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: A vampire seal that daylights as an awesome tattoo.
Special Possessions (if any): A whole arsenal of monster hunting items that will be used all of once before they're forgotten. Oh yeah, and chicken suit. Don't ask.

Origin: We'd assume inspiration from lots of vampire themed movies or anime. We are sadly lacking in references for this one.
Connections To Canon Characters: Filled out a Halloween themed Mad Libs.
Special Abilities: Keyblades (somehow).
Other Annoying Traits: Not wanting to move to Venezuela apparently.

I Say/Notes: Happy Halloween… more than a month late. I’ll just say “It’s always Halloween in our hearts” for an excuse to post this, and to use this special Mog icon made for the occasion.

As for the fic itself, I just want to note that the author does say it's their first, and honestly with that in mind it's actully pretty good. Hell, compared to most of the fics we've done it's good. You can tell someone had fun writing it and I totally had fun reading it, and that's all I really need from a fic these days.

In which we have a boarding school AU with vampires and never found an appropriate spot to reference The Moth Diaries... )
thelectureroom: Moogle Manhunter! (moogle manhunter)
Title: Heart of a Lantern
Author: Aslan's Provident Child
Rating: Rated for bleh writing, Mary Sueness, and just all around craziness.

Full Name (including any titles): Chava, Ashe.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of Marysueus Maximus (super sue) and Fanus Girlus (fangirl)
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None given
Special Possessions (if any): Kanabos, claymores, and lantern rings for all!

Origin: A very small and well hidden area of Inept Crossings
Connections To Canon Characters: Fangirls of them.
Special Abilities: Love! Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove! Oh, and being able to live inside a video game (and possibly comic book?). But mostly it's love.
Other Annoying Traits: Several very questionable uses of capitals.

I Say/Notes: Big thanks once again to reynald451 for being so patient and awesome during this co-sporking. Enjoy the grand finale!

Part One.
Part Two.
Part Three.
Part Four.
Part Five.

Green Sporker's Light! )
thelectureroom: Moogle Manhunter! (moogle manhunter)
Title: Heart of a Lantern
Author: Aslan's Provident Child
Rating:
Rated for bleh writing, Mary Sueness, and just all around craziness.

Full Name (including any titles): Chava, Ashe.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of Marysueus Maximus (super sue) and Fanus Girlus (fangirl)
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None given
Special Possessions (if any): Kanabos, claymores, and lantern rings for all!

Origin: A very small and well hidden area of Inept Crossings
Connections To Canon Characters: Fangirls of them.
Special Abilities: Love! Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove! Oh, and being able to live inside a video game (and possibly comic book?). But mostly it's love.
Other Annoying Traits: Several very questionable uses of capitals.

I Say/Notes: Part One.
Part Two.
Part Three.
Part Four.

Beware our power... )
thelectureroom: Moogle Manhunter! (moogle manhunter)
Title: Heart of a Lantern
Author: Aslan's Provident Child
Rating: Rated for bleh writing, Mary Sueness, and just all around craziness.

Full Name (including any titles): Chava, Ashe.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of Marysueus Maximus (super sue) and Fanus Girlus (fangirl)
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None given
Special Possessions (if any): Kanabos, claymores, and lantern rings for all!

Origin: A very small and well hidden area of Inept Crossings
Connections To Canon Characters: Fangirls of them.
Special Abilities: Love! Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove! Oh, and being able to live inside a video game (and possibly comic book?). But mostly it's love.
Other Annoying Traits: Several very questionable uses of capitals.

I Say/Notes:
Sorry for the delay, HTML issues. Hope you still enjoy the spork! From here on out, we have started showing where line breaks on FF.net were with "PLACING THIS HERE TO MARK THE LINE THAT USED TO BE HERE".

Part One.
Part Two.
Part Three.

Let those who worship badfic's might... )
thelectureroom: Moogle Manhunter! (moogle manhunter)
Title: Heart of a Lantern
Author: Aslan's Provident Child
Rating: Rated for bleh writing, Mary Sueness, and just all around craziness.

Full Name (including any titles): Chava, Ashe.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of Marysueus Maximus (super sue) and Fanus Girlus (fangirl)
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None given
Special Possessions (if any): Kanabos, claymores, and lantern rings for all!

Origin: A very small and well hidden area of Inept Crossings
Connections To Canon Characters: Fangirls of them.
Special Abilities: Love! Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove! Oh, and being able to live inside a video game (and possibly comic book?). But mostly it's love.
Other Annoying Traits: Several very questionable uses of capitals.

I Say/Notes: Part One.
Part Two.

No badfic shall escape our sight... )
thelectureroom: Moogle Manhunter! (moogle manhunter)
Title: Heart of a Lantern
Author: Aslan's Provident Child
Rating: Rated for bleh writing, Mary Sueness, and just all around craziness.

Full Name (including any titles): Chava, Ashe.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of Marysueus Maximus (super sue) and Fanus Girlus (fangirl)
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None given
Special Possessions (if any): Kanabos, claymores, and lantern rings for all!

Origin: A very small and well hidden area of Inept Crossings
Connections To Canon Characters: Fangirls of them.
Special Abilities: Love! Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove! Oh, and being able to live inside a video game (and possibly comic book?). But mostly it's love.
Other Annoying Traits: Several very questionable uses of capitals.

I Say/Notes: Part One.

In Out-of-Character Night... )
thelectureroom: Moogle Manhunter! (moogle manhunter)
Title: Heart of a Lantern
Author: Aslan's Provident Child
Rating: Rated for bleh writing, Mary Sueness, and just all around craziness.

Full Name (including any titles): Chava, Ashe.
Full Species(es): A hybrid of Marysueus Maximus (super sue) and Fanus Girlus (fangirl)
Hair Color (include adjectives): None given
Eye Color (include adjectives): None given
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None given
Special Possessions (if any): Kanabos, claymores, and lantern rings for all!

Origin: A very small and well-hidden area of Inept Crossings.
Connections To Canon Characters: Fangirls of them.
Special Abilities: Love! Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove! Oh, and being able to live inside a video game (and possibly comic book?). But mostly it's love.
Other Annoying Traits: Several very questionable uses of capitals.

I Say/Notes:
This is Reynard531 co-sporking with thelectureroom. Let me say that it’s great to spork something for once. I never thought I would but this particular fic struck a nerve with me as a Green Lantern fan. As it stands, this is a rare fic, as there are very few KH crossovers with DC properties, good or bad. This was actually the only story in its category. So please enjoy this collaborated spork as we tear into this thing.

In In-Character Day... )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Whisked Away
Author: DanceHaleyDance
Rating: It's more of an annoying fic rather than a bad fic.
Full Name (including any titles): Roxy/Roxy Dearest, Axy-Waxy, Dem Dem, Zexi, Marly Darling, Larxy, Xiggy Bear. (Yes, these are used in all seriousness.)
Full Species(es): Ukes and semes overload.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blonde (although it's more of a noun than an adjective), red, mullet-haired, feathery pink always feathery pink.
Eye Color (include adjectives): *counter explodes from overuse*
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None worth noting.
Special Possessions (if any): Boyfriends.

Origin: Any City, USA! Check out our tourist booth!
Connections To Canon Characters: A tenuous string.
Special Abilities: Usually we list special powers as a joke. But there actual special powers in this fic. It's not near as interesting as it sounds.
Other Annoying Traits: ARGH WHY ARE THEY ALL SO STUPID?

I Say/Notes: There is probably a good story in here somewhere, but it's covered up by every pet peeve I've ever had. Overload of pairings? Check. Cutesy Roxas whose only purpose is to have the audience go "Aww" over everything he does? Check. Having characters with very little relation in canon being blood relatives now? Check. Trying to pass off controlling and dominating boyfriends as a loving, equal relationship? Check. Moronic characters who manage to ignore their only goal? Check. Obnoxiously inserted humour that yanks any emotional resonance from the story? Check. (We've edited most of this out.) Having absolutely nothing happen for entire chapters at a time? Big fat check!

In which Marluxia uses the Force. And in which Mog renders himself unconscious. )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Whisked Away
Author: DanceHaleyDance
Rating: It's more of an annoying fic rather than a bad fic.
Full Name (including any titles): Roxy/Roxy Dearest, Axy-Waxy, Dem Dem, Zexi, Marly Darling, Larxy, Xiggy Bear. (Yes, these are used in all seriousness.)
Full Species(es): Ukes and semes overload.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blonde (although it's more of a noun than an adjective), red, mullet-haired, feathery pink always feathery pink.
Eye Color (include adjectives): *counter explodes from overuse*
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None worth noting.
Special Possessions (if any): Boyfriends.

Origin: Any City, USA! Check out our tourist booth!
Connections To Canon Characters: A tenuous string.
Special Abilities: Usually we list special powers as a joke. But there actual special powers in this fic. It's not near as interesting as it sounds.
Other Annoying Traits: ARGH WHY ARE THEY ALL SO STUPID?

I Say/Notes: There is probably a good story in here somewhere, but it's covered up by every pet peeve I've ever had. Overload of pairings? Check. Cutesy Roxas whose only purpose is to have the audience go "Aww" over everything he does? Check. Having characters with very little relation in canon being blood relatives now? Check. Trying to pass off controlling and dominating boyfriends as a loving, equal relationship? Check. Moronic characters who manage to ignore their only goal? Check. Obnoxiously inserted humour that yanks any emotional resonance from the story? Check. (We've edited most of this out.) Having absolutely nothing happen for entire chapters at a time? Big fat check!

In which Roxas tries to runaway but comes back because he's not allowed to cross the street. )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Whisked Away
Author: DanceHaleyDance
Rating: It's more of an annoying fic rather than a bad fic.
Full Name (including any titles): Roxy/Roxy Dearest, Axy-Waxy, Dem Dem, Zexi, Marly Darling, Larxy, Xiggy Bear. (Yes, these are used in all seriousness.)
Full Species(es): Ukes and semes overload.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blonde (although it's more of a noun than an adjective), red, mullet-haired, feathery pink always feathery pink.
Eye Color (include adjectives): *counter explodes from overuse*
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None worth noting.
Special Possessions (if any): Boyfriends.

Origin: Any City, USA! Check out our tourist booth!
Connections To Canon Characters: A tenuous string.
Special Abilities: Usually we list special powers as a joke. But there actual special powers in this fic. It's not near as interesting as it sounds.
Other Annoying Traits: ARGH WHY ARE THEY ALL SO STUPID?

I Say/Notes: There is probably a good story in here somewhere, but it's covered up by every pet peeve I've ever had. Overload of pairings? Check. Cutesy Roxas whose only purpose is to have the audience go "Aww" over everything he does? Check. Having characters with very little relation in canon being blood relatives now? Check. Trying to pass off controlling and dominating boyfriends as a loving, equal relationship? Check. Moronic characters who manage to ignore their only goal? Check. Obnoxiously inserted humour that yanks any emotional resonance from the story? Check. (We've edited most of this out.) Having absolutely nothing happen for entire chapters at a time? Big fat check!

In which Xemnas is misogynistic. This is strangely the only thing to make sense. )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Whisked Away
Author: DanceHaleyDance
Rating: It's more of an annoying fic rather than a bad fic.
Full Name (including any titles): Roxy/Roxy Dearest, Axy-Waxy, Dem Dem, Zexi, Marly Darling, Larxy, Xiggy Bear. (Yes, these are used in all seriousness.)
Full Species(es): Ukes and semes overload.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blonde (althought it's more of a noun than an adjective), red, mullet-haired, feathery pink always feathery pink.
Eye Color (include adjectives): *counter explodes from overuse*
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None worth noting.
Special Possessions (if any): Boyfriends.

Origin: Any City, USA! Check out our tourist booth!
Connections To Canon Characters: A tenuous string.
Special Abilities: Usually we list special powers as a joke. But there actual special powers in this fic. It's not near as interesting as it sounds.
Other Annoying Traits: ARGH WHY ARE THEY ALL SO STUPID?

I Say/Notes: There is probably a good story in here somewhere, but it's covered up by every pet peeve I've ever had. Overload of pairings? Check. Cutesy Roxas whose only purpose is to have the audience go "Aww" over everything he does? Check. Having characters with very little relation in canon being blood relatives now? Check. Trying to pass off controlling and dominating boyfriends as a loving, equal relationship? Check. Moronic characters who manage to ignore their only goal? Check. Obnoxiously inserted humour that yanks any emotional resonance from the story? Check. (We've edited most of this out.) Having absolutely nothing happen for entire chapters at a time? Big fat check!

In which Sora is here just to keep me happy. )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title:The Ice Queen
Author: DevilDoom
Rating:
Full Name (including any titles): Maxie, Marly and Mr. Pinky.
Full Species(es): Daughter. (Whether that's adopted or biological, we may never know.)
Hair Color (include adjectives): Long spiky blue.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Light green.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: "The cutest smile Saix had ever seen."
Special Possessions (if any): A spiked ball and chain.

Origin: Saix played a lot of Babysitting Mama and things went horribly, horribly wrong.
Connections To Canon Characters: Daughter. (Again, don't know if it's biological or adopted.)
Special Abilities: Fast learning, screaming.
Other Annoying Traits: None worth noting.

I Say/Notes: Sorry for such a long break! Hope you guys enjoy this little shorty while we work on our next big spork. Any critiscm on how we do our riffs would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!

Because we can't think of anything witty here, we'd like to point out what a ballsy username this person chose. I respect that. )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Larxene's Troubled Memory
Author: EroSempai
Rating: The set-up is confusing, Larxene's character is... just not Larxene, but the writing isn't too bad and it's short and to the point.
Full Name (including any titles): Same as canon.
Full Species(es): The rare but poisonous wilting flower.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Canon.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Canon.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None noted.
Special Possessions (if any): Plushies! Why? Because PLUSHIES THAT'S WHY!

Origin: Harlequin Romances.
Connections To Canon Characters: Hell if I know.
Special Abilities: Crying, sexing.
Other Annoying Traits: ???

I Say/Notes: I have never been so confused reading something so short. Many times I thought "No, this must be part of a series or something, I'm just missing a bunch of back story." But no, this fic is apparently stand-alone. You guys are smarter than me, maybe you'll be able to make sense of this.

Special thanks to anderling for passing this on. Thank you!

In which the crew begins to question the biology of Nobodies )

[[Notes: We're starting to run low on the badfic reservoir. If anyone has a suggestion/request, we'd love to take a look at it. Thanks so much for reading our sporks, we love you!]]
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Starting Over: Everything's Not Lost
Author: KtheHABIT
Rating: covers all the bad grammar, fail!characters, and general sillyness of this fic.
Full Name (including any titles): Sora Strife. Yup.
Full Species(es): Teenagers in badfic. Do we need to say more?
Hair Color (include adjectives): Blonde spikes, large brown spikes, jet black spikes, and glistening red hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "blue with hints of purple", "pure gold", and "so sad, so cold, and closed-off".
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: Seifer has a single scar on his face.
Special Possessions (if any): Guitars, PTSD, and the lowest alcohol tolerance level ever seen.

Origin: Doodled during the Driving Safety seminar in school.
Connections To Canon Characters: Spiked their juice with melodrama.
Special Abilities: Singing, eating, substance abusing.
Other Annoying Traits: Terrible parenting, the idea that a and u are interchaneable vowels and don't matter for character names.

I Say/Notes: Have you ever read a fic that started out "okay", then turned "silly", then "hilarious" then "stupid" then "boring"? This is one of those fics. (And all of this happens within the span of three chapters.)

Warning: This story contains a scene of attempted rape.

In which we find the most hilarious car crash scene ever witnessed )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Find Your Way
Author: plum fairy for you
Rating: One for the cop-out ending, one for the rape the flying fudge out of nowhere, one for the complete lack of conflict, and one for the spell checker that crashed and burned trying to salvage this.
Full Name (including any titles): Surprisingly absent on this subject. (Though there is the unavoidable "Let me shorten your identity to one syllable" hijinx going on.)
Full Species(es): Oemghee deh Lesbianes
Hair Color (include adjectives): Normal, despite some genetics saying otherwise.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Normal.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None.
Special Possessions (if any): A day planner for a 15-years-old (*gasp!*), a super special baby blanket, Call of Duty: Black Ops, and significant others apparently.

Origin: We can only assume a caffeine rush while wandering around a hotel.
Connections To Canon Characters: Whatever it is, I'm sure it's extremely witty!
Special Abilities: To turn pure burning hatred into gooey yummy love.
Other Annoying Traits: Focusing on "oh noes, I can't text my girlfriend" rather than the RAPE THE FLYING FUDGE OUT OF NOWHERE! What the hell?!

I Say/Notes: Sorry for taking so long to finish this last part >.< One joke (that I'm pretty sure isn't really funny) took a lot longer than expected. Anyway, there is a **rape warning** like last time, although the mention is brief and contains no graphic content.

In which caffeine overdoses are totes funny, yo )
thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
Title: Find Your Way
Author: plum fairy for you
Rating: One for the cop-out ending, one for the rape the flying fudge out of nowhere, one for the complete lack of conflict, and one for the spell checker that crashed and burned trying to salvage this.
Full Name (including any titles): Surprisingly absent on this subject. (Though there is the unavoidable "Let me shorten your identity to one syllable" hijinx going on.)
Full Species(es): Oemghee deh Lesbianes
Hair Color (include adjectives): Normal, despite some genetics saying otherwise.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Normal.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None.
Special Possessions (if any): A day planner for a 15-years-old (*gasp!*), a super special baby blanket, Call of Duty: Black Ops, and significant others apparently.

Origin: We can only assume a caffeine rush while wandering around a hotel.
Connections To Canon Characters: Whatever it is, I'm sure it's extremely witty!
Special Abilities: To turn pure burning hatred into gooey yummy love.
Other Annoying Traits: Focusing on "oh noes, I can't text my girlfriend" rather than the RAPE THE FLYING FUDGE OUT OF NOWHERE! What the hell?!

I Say/Notes: As you might have guessed, this spork has a **rape warning**. Aside from that, the fic is actually quite boring. (That didn't stop it from being ridiculously fun to riff.)

In which everyone will begin to hate raspberries )

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