thelectureroom: Mog! (Default)
[personal profile] thelectureroom
Title: Larxene's Troubled Memory
Author: EroSempai
Rating: The set-up is confusing, Larxene's character is... just not Larxene, but the writing isn't too bad and it's short and to the point.
Full Name (including any titles): Same as canon.
Full Species(es): The rare but poisonous wilting flower.
Hair Color (include adjectives): Canon.
Eye Color (include adjectives): Canon.
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: None noted.
Special Possessions (if any): Plushies! Why? Because PLUSHIES THAT'S WHY!

Origin: Harlequin Romances.
Connections To Canon Characters: Hell if I know.
Special Abilities: Crying, sexing.
Other Annoying Traits: ???

I Say/Notes: I have never been so confused reading something so short. Many times I thought "No, this must be part of a series or something, I'm just missing a bunch of back story." But no, this fic is apparently stand-alone. You guys are smarter than me, maybe you'll be able to make sense of this.

Special thanks to anderling for passing this on. Thank you!



(Inside the lecture room are two figures: one, Mog the moogle, is happy; the other, Larxene, is very very not happy.)
Larxene: No. Nonononononononononono.
Mog: I'm sorry but it's true, kupo.
Larxene: No!
(And then Xion walks into the room the same time Zexion portals directly into his seat.)
Xion: Show off.
Zexion: The fluffy creature said I had to be here, he didn't say I had to walk. *notices who he is beside* Oh dear.
Xion: *sits* How are you today, Larxene?
Larxene: NO!
Mog: Larxene is having a few teeny problems today with the fic.
Xion: It's another pairing fic, isn't it?
Mog: Larxene and Demyx.
Larxene: *throws her hands to the sky* NOOOOOO!
Zexion: ...How did the moogle even convince you to be here? He asked Xion and I, but I can't imagine you agreeing to this.
Mog: *super ominous look of squintyness* Those are questions the world should not hear the answers to. *smiley* Fic time!

Ever since Larxene broke up with Demyx, she was in a depression.

Larxene: You mean the crater that was now Demyx's body?
Zexion: Why isn't he here?
Mog: Because then I'd have to clean up the mess all by myself. You ever try mopping with your mouth? It's not fun, kupo.

She became innsomniac

Xion: She's unable to sleep only in inns?

earlier of that month due to missions to find Sora and the other people that escaped the castle constantly.

Xion: You know, Sora, one escape from Castle Oblivion is enough.
Zexion: Or the Castle That Never Was. Either way he and the Disney characters don't need to return and escape multiple times.

2 weeks later was the break up, which left her in horrible shape.

Zexion: A trapazoid.

Axel tried to help her by burning all of Marluxia's roses, in turn causing them restriction from his garden.

Larxene: Burning Demyx would have made me a LOT happier.
Xion: When I said "tune in next time to see what happens when Axel burns down Marluxia's favourite rose bush", I really wasn't expecting an answer.

Zexion got her new books, but she never read them.

Zexion: Perfectly fine literature wasted.
Larxene: (as herself) How can you read this? There's no pictures!

Every night she looked across the hall to see HIS room there, and she watched him.

Larxene: Studying his patterns, his routine, waiting for the time to strike...

She wasn't being a stalker according to her standards, she was just getting more emotions from Namine everyday.

Xion: Naminé be trolling?

When she confronted Namine about this, she wasn't happy to learn that it wasn't Namine. She now had a heart, like Axel and Zexion.

Zexion: Axel will never be able to live that line down― waitwhat?
Larxene: HAHA! If I'm an emotional mess then YOU have to be an emotional mess! Cry, emo boy, cry for me!

The new year was coming up, and soon the organization would have a party, so hopefully it would take her mind off the bugging heartbeat she developed.

Zexion: ...Does this story even take place within our universe or is it one of those "alternate universe" travesties I've heard so much about?
Xion: Both? Neither?

One night, she looked across the hall to Demyx's room, and saw him cuddling with a plush toy.

Larxene: It was his new girlfriend.

It was the plush toy that she made him the first month of their relationship, a plushie of a Heartless.

Larxene: *hiss*
Xion: You should teach me sometime how to make cuddly children's toys. You must be really good at it.
Larxene: *HISS*

She looked on her bed, looking at the plush toys she was given when she turned away, she had a Air Tank.

Zexion: Hello, officer, I'm here to report a missing N.

In some ways, she wouldn't forget him.

Larxene: In most ways I would fondly remember killing him slowly and painfully, with much mind games in between.

An hour before the party, she got ready. She wore her yellow tube top with a pair of black armwarmers that were given to her by Zexion,

Zexion: Why would I gift you with pieces of cloth you could then use to strangle me with? I'm not, and have absolutely no desire to be, your friend.
Xion: AU. Must be AU.

a pair of black slacks and black ugg boots.

Larxene: Yeah, "ugg" sounds pretty accurate so far.
Xion: Brand name must mean AU. It has to be AU. *pause* Right?

She wasn't much shorter with heels,

Zexion: ...That would defeat the purpose of high heeled shoes.
Xion: I like my footwear to subtract from my height.

but it was still noticed by the others. She walked out of her room and locked the door, then headed to the party upstairs on the balcony.

Larxene: The last location of Demyx's life before I shoved him over the railing.

She could hear the other members already commenting on Xenmas drinking cocktails at the begining of the night.

Zexion: Who is this XeNmas and what has he done with the Superior?
Xion: Merry Xenmas to all, and to all a good night!

"Oh yeaaaah, Paaarty!"

Xion: (as Xemnas) Ev'ry day I'm shufflin'.

"Lay off the Papu Cocktail there boy!"

"Aww, but there's chicks here!"

"Only 2."

(Larxene and Xion look at each other)
Larxene: Do you even count as a chick?
Xion: Maybe Naminé is at the party with you?
Zexion: If I can have a heart and Larxene can make plush toys, it makes perfect sense that Naminé would enjoy partying with her holders.

Xenmas went up to Marluxia and started to flirt with him

Xion: It's a good thing this is XeNmas and not XeMnas or else some serious canon could have just broken.
Larxene: Hmm. That's not a half bad idea. Lure your victims into a state of false security and when they least expect it, destroy them and usurp their empire. Then no one can stand in your way because you're their boss AND a grieving widow.
Zexion: A prequel, perhaps? Although Sora was already in the Castle so... Inbetweenquel?
Mog: *from notes* Then Axel comes over to see if they're enjoying the party.

Larxene hugged Zexion, her face by his neck.

Larxene and Zexion: *cringe and flail* Take it away! Get it off me!

He grumbled and tried to push her off, then looked at Axel holding onto her.

Zexion: (as himself) The both of you had recent lobotomies, didn't you?

He sighed and let them play near him,

Larxene: ...and with him.
Zexion: This fic is already playing with me. It's trying to destroy my mind one confusing sentence at a time.

as he watched Larxene get drunk as the night went on. By 11:30 PM, she was buzzed from the many cocktails she inhaled.

Larxene: Through my nose. It's the best way to get hammered.

Axel passed out onto Zexion's arm, while Zexion fell asleep in the process. She got up and looked at the guys, who were out of commission at the moment.

Heading to the stairs, Demyx stopped her. She looked down quickly before looking in his eyes, since everytime she thought of the past she cried.

Larxene: ...Tears of joy and satisfaction. It'd better be tears of joy and satisfaction.
Xion and Zexion: *lean away*

"Where are you going Larxene?"

Larxene: (as herself) To plan your demise for getting me into this pairing!

"None of your business."

"Tell me."

"Why should I?"

Xion: (as Demyx) Because you're a womanl!

"Because I care."

"You don't care, you're drunk."

"No, I'm buzzed."

"..."

Xion: Hey, we're allowed to use ellipses, fic, not you. We're parody, we can get away with that kind of stuff.
Zexion: This dialogue brought to you by a light novel.

"Follow me silly."

She followed him to a nearby room, that showed the best view of the moon in all the castle.

Xion: Canonverse? Maybe?

She looked out and tried to smile, but looked down at her feet before he said a word to her again.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's my fault... I had to find Sora too much."

Larxene: *eye twitch* Did I. Just apologize. For doing. My job.
Zexion: Of course, women in fiction are not allowed to have lives outside of the men they are dating or once had. You are supposed to sit at home all day and please him the minute he arrives.
(Xion shoves Zexion onto the floor and saves him from being decapitated.)
Zexion: *tries to sit back in seat with as much dignity as possible* I suppose I owe you a favour now.
Xion: Oh, I'll make use of it one day. Be afraid that day.
Larxene: *pets knife* Don't forget I know where you sleep, Pretty Boy.

"Xenmas shouldn't have made you."

Xion: XeNmas shouldn't make us do anything, he's not our boss.
Larxene: Xemnas would have a hell of a time getting me to do anything, too. I mean, I probably would eventually, but I wouldn't make it fun for anyone involved.

"Well he did, and you did date him so he was trying to make you unhappy."

Zexion: Demyx did what with who?
Xion: ...Pairing universe, the land of libidos and non-existent consequences.

"It succeeded."

"Look at me."

She looked up at Demyx, his pale eyes looking at hers kindly. She soon started to mutter some words softly,

Larxene: (as herself) Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you―

then began to cry.

Larxene: (as herself) ―FUCKING STRING YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE AND LAUGH ALL THE WHILE―

She held him close and cried on his shirt, as he held her back in a tight embrace.

Xion: *whisper whisper whisper*
Larxene: *whisper* ...ooh, I like that idea...
Zexion: *whisper* ...could be less painful...
Mog: *leans forward* What're you guys talkin' abou―
Xion: *points* MOG, LOOK, SOMETHING AMAZING BEHIND YOU!
Mog: *turns around* Where?!
Behind Mog's back: *clinking noises*
Larxene: Wha- Well, would you look at this! These shot glasses have strangely appeared right in front of us. What are the odds of that happening?
Mog: You can't have alcoholic things in here! That's against the rules! *gasp* And in front of Xion, too! You people have no shame!
Xion: Don't worry, Mog, it's only ginger ale. We're going to need a drinking game for the oncoming smut scene.
Zexion: I'll take "moan".
Larxene: I got "thrust".
Xion: And I'll handle any "come"s spelled with a U. Begin!

She looked up at him as he started to smile, and he kissed her sweetly. She moaned,

Zexion: *takes a shot*

her mouth soon moving harder onto his, and moving her tounge over his upper lip. He opened his mouth in an "O" shape

Larxene: If I have to see Demyx's O face, I am vomiting myself to nonexistence.

and she licked his teeth, as his tounge moved into hers. She muffled something,

Larxene: (as herself) ―AND HANG YOUR ENTRAILS ABOVE MY DOOR AS A WARNING FOR ALL WHO CROSS ME!

then they broke the kiss.

Xion: No! What did the kiss ever do to you? Why did you need to break him? You monsters!
Mog: *from notes* Into the bedroom we go!

She giggled as his hands went up her shirt,

Larxene: What the bloody hell was I drinking tonight? Was there some kind of punch that scrambled my brain?

and moved her bra away. She gasped, moaning

Zexion: *takes a shot*

at his motions. His fingers were massaging her right nipple, and she wanted more.

Larxene: No! I want NONE! None, I tell you!

"Demyx, pleaaase."

Xion: (as Larxene) Pleeeaase give me my personality back.

"Not yet, remember you always wanted foreplay?"

"That was then, this is now... I just want sex now."

"Well you have to wait."

Larxene: Fuck that noise. I get the say to what I do, I don't play bottom unless I'm in the mood.
Zexion: *almost mentions "women in fiction" again but values his head too much*

He kissed her neck as his hands continued teasing her nipple, now erect from the motions.

Larxene: Stand to attention, nipples! Left face!

His lips nipped a trail down to the top of her breasts, then with his left hand he moved the shirt down. A strapless black bra soon fell to the floor, along with his shirt.

Xion: Hm. Who knew Demyx wore a strapless.

She pulled him down into a deep kiss and felt his body against hers, a contented and sexy smile on her face. He kissed her back, teasing her lips and making her moan.

Zexion: *takes a shot*

He pulled down his pants and boxers in one go,

Xion: He's over-eager, isn't he?
Larxene: Demyx hasn't gotten any in a while. I made sure to blackmail all his girlfriends.

and they fell next to the growing pile of their clothes beside the bed.

Xion: The clothes! They won't stop growing! Nothing will stop their conquest of the world!

"Heh."

"What now?"

"Oh nothing.."

"What..."

"You're ready."

Xion: ...Can Nobodies even...
Zexion: No, because you need a blood flow to do that. We are not made of flesh and blood.
Larxene: Yeah, we're made of confetti.

Larxene kissed him roughly and grabbed his hips, he blushed

Xion: (as Demyx) Oh my word, Larxene! So forward and unladylike!

and then kissed her back. He pulled down her pants and underwear and dropped it, she moaned

Zexion: *takes a shot*

as his warmth came near her. He looked at Larxene, her breathing now uneven and quickening as he kissed her before moving inside.

Larxene: (as Demyx) Alright men, I'm goin' in.
Xion: (as men) No, captain, it's too dangerous!
Larxene: (as Demyx) IT'S FOR THE SAKE OF THE MISSION, MEN! THE MISSION!

She gasped, then reached for the bed and gripped it moaned

Zexion: *takes a shot*

loudly as moved her legs together, then thrusting

Larxene: Finally! *takes a shot*
Xion: Are you still wearing your boots as all this is going on?
Zexion: There are so many images in my mind that I would rather never see.

harder into her. She kissed him deeply, her lip now tasting of copper from the force of her lips kissing him.

Larxene: *cheering* Bite! Bite! Bite! Bite! Bite! Bite! Bite! Bite! Bite!

Every thrust

Larxene: *takes a shot*

he looked at her blue eyes, his smile then moving down to her neck to kiss and nip there.

Xion: Demyx― owner of the amazing detaching smile!

Every kiss placed there made her squirm, and soon she wanted to climax from the pleasure of it all.

Larxene: Y'know, I'm highly disappointed there have been no "wet" jokes yet.
Zexion: *blocks out more images* Thank goodness the world has you for that.

She held one of his hands and looked at him as he thrust

Larxene: *takes a shot*

more, then kissed him softly by the ear.

"Dem...Demyx... I'm cumming."

Xion: *takes a shot*

"Al...Alright..aaah...I can't cum

Xion: *takes a shot*

inside though."

Xion: *to Zexion* Are you guys actually able to―
Zexion: No. The answer will always be no. We are not and never will have this conversation.

"You can... It doesn't matter anymore."

Zexion: There's this crazy thing called "protection" that would have been a much better solution.
Larxene: Says you. I say an anchor baby would have solved this entire fic and I wouldn't be here right now.
Xion: STDs don't matter anymore.

"Okay...mmmmmaah...you sure?"

"Yessss...aaaah."

Demyx put his right hand behind her butt and held it up higher to have a different angle,

Larxene: You're screwing me, not painting me. Who cares about angles?
Xion: Out of all the sexy words people could use, "butt" has to be at the bottom of the list.

then thrust

Larxene: *takes a shot* Urgh, if only these were alcoholic.
Zexion: I would have lost consciousness by now. All you're contributing to this scene is moaning.

into her harder. Her knuckles turned white on the bed as she gripped the covers tightly. Larxene, held the sheets and moaned

Zexion: *takes a shot*

loudly, climaxing as he continued to thrust.

Larxene: *takes a shot*

He smirked and then kissed her neck, soon moaning

Zexion: Oh, for crying out loud. *takes a shot*

loudly near her ear as he climaxed. His hips stopped moving and his body rested on her, she smiled and pet his hair.

Xion: (as Larxene) Good Demmy-wemmy. You get a treat!
Zexion: I think he just received it.
Mog: *from notes* The morning after...

"Hey Larxene?"

"What?"

Xion: (as Demyx) What universe are we in?

"Thank you, but I have to go... Kairi is looking for me."

"Alright, go to your girlfriend then."

Xion: I get it! This fic takes place in the Binary universe!
Larxene: No, cuz then I'd be putting cyanide-laced water bottles into vending machines instead of whining and crying like I'm some junior high girl that found out her boyfriend of five days doesn't REALLY like her-like her.

"No... she's a fiance."

Zexion: How can one short piece of fiction raise so many questions? Where are we? What is going on? Who are these people? How does Larxene have a heart? When did Demyx and Kairi start dating? Who is XeNmas? Who am I?

"Whatever. Just go."

"Text you?"

Larxene: Bumfuck. This fic takes place in the universe of Bumfuck. Leave your brain and canon at the door, you won't be needing either of them.

"Do you think I care? Go."

Zexion: ...Wait. Demyx just cheated on his fiancé and was dating you, Larxene, the same time he was dating XeNmas. And yet you were the one who insisted on apologizing.
Larxene: Bumfuck!

He kissed her softly and got dressed, and soon leaving the room.

Xion: Flee, poor gerund! Flee to a proper sentence where you will be loved and feel like you belong!

Larxene laid on her stomach and grabbed the Air Tank plushie from him and holding it in front of her, she started to tear up again and threw the plushie down onto the floor.

Zexion: Perhaps you have allergies to cotton stuffing. That's the reason for your tears.
Larxene: Kill the plushie, kill it!

She cryed for hours until she got dressed into her coat and heels again for work, and yelled at Namine before heading to Xenmas.

Larxene: (as herself, to Naminé) I HATE YOU!
Xion: (as Naminé) I didn't even do anything. I've just been sitting here. The fic even said I didn't do anything.
Larxene: (as herself) I HATE YOU ANYWAY!

Before she ported to Twilight Town to find Sora, she saw Demyx and Kairi kissing in Marluxia's garden and she frowned,

Zexion: As she questioned how Sora and Kairi's relationship now works, what with one being hunted by a member of the Organization and one dating a member of the Organization.

she activated a thunderbolt and zapped the flowers around them, then ported away.

Larxene: Stop killing Marluxia's flowers! He hasn't done a damn thing this entire time, kill the things I DO hate!

By the time Demyx looked at the black poof of darkness,

Xion: I have a feeling that name won't catch on.

he saw Larxene starting to tear up again before she left.

Zexion: (as Larxene) Poofs! My one weakness!

In her room was an Air Tank plushie that lay on the floor, zapped by thunder and brown instead of blue... all by the powers of her sadness.

(Xion and Zexion brace themselves, prepared for a flurry of knives and lightning.)
Larxene: *does nothing*
Xion: ...You're not... going to react?
Larxene: Nope. It broke me. Whatever semblance of anger I ever had has cracked and spilled onto the floor, the pieces so tiny they will never be put back together again.
Zexion: Does this mean we're able to leave... alive?
Larxene: Y'know, I'm not as murderous as you people make me seem. Just get the heck out.
Xion and Zexion: *get the heck out*
Larxene: *sighs* I try so hard to get a repuation only to have it killed before my eyes. Is there even a point to living anymore?
Mog: *thinks* There's cheesecake.
Larxene: ...I do like cheesecake.
Mog: *shifty eyes* Don'ttellanyoneIsaidthisbuuuuut look under the desk.
Larxene: *looks* A lemon cheesecake! Just for me! Aw, Mog, that's― *stop* This stays only between us, right?
Mog: Don't worry, our secret's safe. No one stands between me and my cheesecake.

[[THE END]]



[[Notes: We're starting to run low on the badfic reservoir. If anyone has a suggestion/request, we'd love to take a look at it. Thanks so much for reading our sporks, we love you!]]
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